do not panic
if everyone continues to shop
when the fire alarm goes off
at the mall
I am a writer. Yes, it is true. I write the things that make the whole world read. Sometimes I write a piece that someone not only reads but sings. Sometimes what I write gets made into a dramatic play and acted out on stage. Other times my writings get used against me in a court of law, repeatedly. I am a writer not a right-er. What I'm trying to say is...I fuck up a lot.
I prepare for every job interview the same way: I play chess against myself for a week and I ALWAYS WIN. It's just that this way, when it is time for me to go into the job interview, they will get a strong impression that I've just overcome something dark. That is, if I win as the white pieces. Yes, they notice a perserverance, a fight in me. Either that or they get a racist vibe.
My girlfriend thinks I should stop watching tv shows with the laptop on my crotch. She would like children someday she says. I would like children someday I reply. I would also like to finish this season and not contribute to overpopulation and enjoy my unconventional free heating pad, for my crotch. I don't say this of course, I just break up with her and resume my videos.
There are two kinds of people in the world ...
and I really wish they'd start shacking up and making sweet love together, and just relax ya know.