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I’m tired of reading others’ stories


I now want to write my own



About..what I perceived as, my first love


It began in may, I don’t know when it ended, or if it fully did.. was it even real?


While it lasted, it was


so sweet


so happy,


I could scarcely sleep


At that time, I was almost certain this could last forever


But it came to an abrupt end



Although I was the one who initiated the talk for the end


It seemed like it was coming to an end almost as soon as it began


Not because of what you did,


But what you didn’t do



As a result, I became unsure


Unsure of “love”


What it is, esp. to men


If it could withstand physical distance,


And the challenge of personal sacrifices--


Not really a challenge because of love


And past mistakes



My heart became a bit colder in some regions as a result


In the amount of affection I could pour


Out to others


And I don't like it



This thing called love and affection


Seems so often, fragile,


Transitory


Weak


But at the same time,


So necessary,


So life-giving


We crave and long for it


And give it so we can receive it



It’s ironic that in certain times in life,


Ignoring, withdrawal are necessary


Being cruel to be kind


Is a harsh truth



I wish God would rescue love


In all its purity and goodness,


Beauty and joy


I know he can, just as he redeemed the world



Sometimes, we make promises


We could never or


We were never meant to


Keep



“Love without depending”


                Is it possible to give and receive love while only relying on oneself?


                Perhaps we were only meant to depend fully on One Person


                The one who formed this heart


                So that even if we leaned a little on another, who falls away


                We could still stand tall


               

Continue Reading

I don’t know if it’s the caffeine, the cold, or the creative impulse,

But I can’t go to sleep

All I want to do is write

I had a dream last night

Someone I hadn’t thought of in a while

Was surprisingly in it

As I saw him approaching,

I hesitated before I decided to say a friendly hello

It I was I who had ended it, after all

He sat down and cried

I guess the past year was hard for him, intellectually and physically

Waking up this morning,

I went throughout my day like normal

Then “Back to December” came on the radio

I did not echo her sentiments but...

by sujinee ago
0
26

life can be summed up by the horizon

where sun kisses earth,

rising & appearing,

descending & disappearing

today, life is summed up by hellos and goodbyes, sunset and sunrise

by sujinee ago
0
21

A day that ends in rain

Awake but barely breathing

Wishing the past wouldn’t creep in and haunt the present

Distort the goodness

And splash in badness

Can’t even comprehend this coherently

I wish life didn’t have to be so hard

It was such a perfect day

Until that happened

I can’t even trace why or how it came about

Nonsensical

Illogical

Irreparable? I really hope not

Yea, people have it much worse

But it doesn’t change the feeling

The pain

The sadness

The confusion

The desire for peace

I won’t be content with the guarantee that in this world, we will...

by sujinee ago
0
18

Dedicated to:

The most courageous man I’ve met

Walking with my arms pulling in my jacket closer

And head down

I was lost in the nebulous thoughts that permeated my head

When I looked up and beheld

The most courageous man

With no legs

(But little shoes)

And one arm

Swinging at his side

He strode toward the mall

With a quiet purpose and conviction

Exuding from his tall posture

I couldn’t look away

Life is unjust

Because people & situations

But here is this man

Who still lives with head held high

And eyes looking ahead

With the courage to live

Although...

by sujinee ago
0
23

There once was a girl

Whose name meant loyal

So she gave her loyalty

To ones who touched her heart

Spirit and mind

But the world told the girl

And the girl told herself

That she had a problem

Because once her loyalty was given

It was hard for her to take it back

Deep inside her heart were strings that

Attached themselves to another

And when the strings became worn

Or tangled

Or singed

Or slowly burned off

One

By

One

She panicked

She hurt

And she cried

But the truth of life

And the truth of the world

Said that friends come and go

That loved ones leave

And you...

by sujinee ago
0
18

There was a boy who did not know he was a man

Every night his head would hit his pillow with a familiar sigh

“I’m not good enough,”

He’d curse himself

The boy kept on with this until his curse became life

Shrouding over the fact that

He was built for blessings.

Fear, anger, and sleeplessness were his closest friends

Until one night, he had a dream

Out of the dark dense fog, a warm, yellow light approached him

Growing more brilliant as it came

From the light emerged a sweet-faced girl

Beaming her usual bright smile,

She peered into his hard gaze

And...

by sujinee ago
1
62