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I’m tired of reading others’ stories


I now want to write my own



About..what I perceived as, my first love


It began in may, I don’t know when it ended, or if it fully did.. was it even real?


While it lasted, it was


so sweet


so happy,


I could scarcely sleep


At that time, I was almost certain this could last forever


But it came to an abrupt end



Although I was the one who initiated the talk for the end


It seemed like it was coming to an end almost as soon as it began


Not because of what you did,


But what you didn’t do



As a result, I became unsure


Unsure of “love”


What it is, esp. to men


If it could withstand physical distance,


And the challenge of personal sacrifices--


Not really a challenge because of love


And past mistakes



My heart became a bit colder in some regions as a result


In the amount of affection I could pour


Out to others


And I don't like it



This thing called love and affection


Seems so often, fragile,


Transitory


Weak


But at the same time,


So necessary,


So life-giving


We crave and long for it


And give it so we can receive it



It’s ironic that in certain times in life,


Ignoring, withdrawal are necessary


Being cruel to be kind


Is a harsh truth



I wish God would rescue love


In all its purity and goodness,


Beauty and joy


I know he can, just as he redeemed the world



Sometimes, we make promises


We could never or


We were never meant to


Keep



“Love without depending”


                Is it possible to give and receive love while only relying on oneself?


                Perhaps we were only meant to depend fully on One Person


                The one who formed this heart


                So that even if we leaned a little on another, who falls away


                We could still stand tall


               

I don’t know if it’s the caffeine, the cold, or the creative impulse,


But I can’t go to sleep


All I want to do is write



I had a dream last night


Someone I hadn’t thought of in a while


...

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by sujinee Apr 11, 2012
0
26

life can be summed up by the horizon


where sun kisses earth,


rising & appearing,


descending & disappearing


today, life is summed up by hellos and goodbyes, sunset and sunrise

by sujinee Nov 22, 2011
0
21

A day that ends in rain



Awake but barely breathing



Wishing the past wouldn’t creep in and haunt the present



Distort the goodness


And splash in badness



Can’t even comprehend this...

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by sujinee Oct 29, 2011
0
18

Dedicated to:


The most courageous man I’ve met



Walking with my arms pulling in my jacket closer


And head down


I was lost in the nebulous thoughts that permeated my head


When I looked up...

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by sujinee Oct 04, 2011
0
23

There once was a girl


Whose name meant loyal


So she gave her loyalty


To ones who touched her heart


Spirit and mind



But the world told the girl


And the girl told herself


That she had a...

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by sujinee Sep 29, 2011
0
18

There was a boy who did not know he was a man


Every night his head would hit his pillow with a familiar sigh


“I’m not good enough,”


He’d curse himself


The boy kept on with this until...

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by sujinee Sep 26, 2011
1
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