My last relationship turned out to be my ex-boyfriend’s last attempt at having a girlfriend, and when he dumped me for once it wasn’t because of my terrible personality, but because he was gay.
At first I felt defective. Like there was something fundamentally wrong with me that he recognized and grew to despise.
I was put together incorrectly from the start, broken irreparably and as such, I deserved to be thrown away.
Then I felt repugnant. A sense of my own hideousness welled up and beat me down whenever I looked in a mirror.
I convinced myself that I must have been repulsive to him the entire time.
When he looked at me I envisioned him seeing some heaping pile of refuse- vile, moist, and stinking- until he decided he couldn’t look at it any longer.
I remembered the way he told me I was beautiful as if trying to reassure himself of the fact.
I felt used, like a lab rat that failed the trial and is left to rot in a maze somewhere.
I was the last straw, the final exam, or the wall he had to climb to get to the other side. I felt like an object, a compound, a catalyst- anything but a human being.
Anything but something worthy and recyclable.
Just trash, scientific trash.
Dispose of me in the correct bin lest I blind somebody.
Disclaimer: I’m aware that these emotions do not reflect the reality of how he felt about me, neither are they an accurate depiction of the way gay men feel about women. I am only writing about my perspective in the 3-6 weeks after he left and I am aware that these emotions are both selfish AND misplaced. I'm a dick and feelings happen.
I can solidly disapprove of just about anything...WITH MY FACE.
Do I have people in my personal space? Hell yeah I do.
Living in New York taught me how to recognize the difference being having people IN my personal space and having people VIOLATE my personal space. I don't mind being crammed in a subway with a ton of people. None of that makes me uncomfortable (unless they smell...).
I do mind when someone goes out of their way to get close to or invade my space...and it happens to me a lot. Because I'm a woman and because I have textured hair, people think I owe them entry to my personal bubble and actually get angry when I deny them. They think that have a right to be in my personal space and when I say no, I'm a "bitch" or an "angry black woman." Worse, they say I should be grateful and flattered that people get in my space to comment on and touch my body and my hair.
I'm not grateful. I'm not flattered. #donttouchmyhair
I am my own favorite thing.
I’m standing in front of the mirror, I’m taking a picture, I’m ...
Every single osteoporosis patient was dead within five years of the impact, and my grandpa Ike Cassidy was one of them.
The scientists explained it by saying that having a giant hole...
Be quiet! We're in a library.
Featuring my shitty Transylvanian, RP English, Cockney, New Jersey (represent!), Heavily Smoking Great-Aunt Florence, and giggly accents.
All men must dye, but I am not a man.
Love this script! Apologies for the car horns, giggly kids, and the text alert in the middle. That was actually Conley tweeting back to help me with a stems issue. Go figure.
Summation of my adds:
two unison vocal tracks
two harmonic tracks on the requested note Ab for all A sections (staggered in the first half of the song)
two harmonic tracks on the C above that A flat for all A sections (staggered in the first half of the song)
one track of Eb harmony on the B section
one track of Ab harmony on the B section
these are all completely RAW, i didnt even do a noise removal on them (can you tell?). stems in results.