So for about a week now I've been trying to figure out how to say I am quitting hitrecord for good.
Hitrecord used to be my everything, hitrecord was the entire reason I became an artist, I was nothing before. I was so scared because I've always wanted to only be an artist but I didn't think i'd ever be good enough for people to like what i do. So I kept it mostly hidden, hitrecord showed me that the world didn't hate me as much as I assumed it did.
It was the most amazing feeling just surfing around on the site. Seeing all these people just in love with what they do, expressing themselves probably more than they ever have in their life. Starting their own collaborations, finishing projects on their own and just being so immensely proud of each other. It was honestly like walking onto a whole new planet.
Never in my life have I seen a community like this one. So it ate at my soul when I decided I had to quit.
Bottom line is, things changed. I no longer felt the things I felt before, I felt like instead of a bunch of mice running free and loving everything we turned into a bunch of mice in a maze crawling over each other to get to the cheese.
It took a huge toll on my psyche. I was now determined to get to the cheese as well, but at the same time I'm trying to turn away from the maze and get back to the open range and bring some mice with me. (I refuse to drop the mice metaphor)
I felt like I was ripped in half. I want to go back to how things were, I want to just collaborate with people and not worry about the show. I want to celebrate for an entire day when someone gets...