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um. i did a thing. idk. x

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characters:


BILLIE - twenty-something, beautiful, plus-sized
ALEX - twenty-something, lean, relatively good-looking


INT. CROWDED BAR, NIGHT


BILLIE and ALEX approach an empty table. ALEX is talking but we can’t hear him over the noise of the crowd and the music of a SINGER crooning away on the small stage a few feet away. It’s open-mic night.


The camera pans the over the entire bar and focuses on the couple, now seated. BILLIE is picking at the label of her BEER BOTTLE. Her face suggests she is not having fun. ALEX notices her fidgeting and smiles. He believes it is because of her self-esteem.  It never crosses his mind that she doesn’t like him.


ALEX:


Ever been to an open-mic before?


BILLIE:


Mhm. I always wanted to perform spoken word, but I could never find the courage.


ALEX takes her hand. BILLIE recoils a bit. Again, he does not notice. She looks at his hand over hers, then looks at him.


ALEX:


You’re beautiful, you know.


His voice is heavy with condescension. BILLIE knows what’s coming next before the words come out of his mouth.


ALEX:


I like being with bigger girls.


The SINGER finishes his open-mic set. A BAR EMPLOYEE takes to the stage. She is speaking into the microphone but we hear nothing but HIGH-PITCHED HUMMING.


BILLIE’s eyes become dark, practically burning with fire. Her entire body stiffens in her seat.


BAR EMPLOYEE:


We’ve got a few spaces left for open-mic tonight. Come on up, tell me who ya are and what you’re all about!


BILLIE smiles at ALEX. Her eyes are ANGRY. He does not notice. He is smug.


BAR EMPLOYEE:


Come on folks! Last call for open mic!


BILLIE grabs her BEER and chugs it, slams the empty bottle on the table, and stands.


BILLIE:


I’ll be right back.


ALEX:


I’ll be here.


BILLIE walks with determination to the stage. She taps the BAR EMPLOYEE on the shoulder and whispers in her ear.


BAR EMPLOYEE:


Okay everyone we’ve got another open mic volunteer! Everyone give it up for the passionate poetic stylings of BILLIE!


BILLIE:


I’ve always wanted to do spoken word, but I never planned on doing it tonight. But the guy I’m here on a date with, his name is Alex, he’s in the blue shirt, sitting by himself, really inspired me to go for it. So this one’s for you.


BILLIE grins and winks at ALEX. The AUDIENCE applauds, whistles, woo-hoos, raises their glasses and their bottles, creates general fanfare noises.


BILLIE closes her eyes and her smile disappears. Her ferocity has returned. The AUDIENCE is silenced just by the look on her face.


BILLIE:


i have been lusted after
but i have never been loved.


you see,
there is a powerful difference
between my body existing as a trophy--


“FIRST PLACE FOR NAILING A FAT CHICK”


and respectful adoration
for the flesh
which houses my soul.


“i dig big girls”
has always been the paramount reason
for the hands which have wandered
around my curves,
faux affectations cooed into my ear,
but i have never heard
“you’re beautiful”
without the parenthetical tag-along


(for a fat girl).


my body is not the society standard mold,
so toy with me!
toss me around!


never let me forget


how lucky i am
that you would stoop so low.


never let me forget
that this is a one-time thing,
that i will see your couch,
your bed,
but i am not worthy to be acquainted
with anything more,


you are doing me a favor.


that you do not date
girls
like
me.


never let me forget
that when i am in love with myself,
when i am comfortable
in my clothes, in my skin,
letting someone touch me,
letting someone love me


i am wrong.


BILLIE takes a deep breath, closes her eyes, opens them on the exhale. She looks directly at ALEX.


BILLIE:


You are a HERO for liking big girls.


There is a moment of silence. BILLIE steps away from the mic and curtsies to the crowd.


ALEX is obviously embarased. His face is red. He throws money on the table for the drinks, and storms out of the BAR.


The CROWD is divided - half of them exalting BILLIE, the other half booing and jeering at ALEX.


BILLIE sits at the now empty table and orders a drink, WHISKEY NEAT. She does not stop smiling.


FADE OUT.


 


---


i've never really written a script before - i'm not familiar with proper format so i'm just going off of what i've read from friends and on the site, etc.


anyway. i had the thought of writing a short for my poem a few mornings ago and now here it is. this theme is very important to me.


 


any and all changes, revisions, etc are welcome. i tried to make it as short as possible. a lot of it is looks and emotions as opposed to dialogue, so i'm hoping that will cut down on time if actually filmed. but what do i know.


<3C

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i have been lusted after
but i have never been loved.


you see,
there is a powerful difference
between my body existing as a trophy--


“FIRST PLACE FOR NAILING A FAT CHICK”


and respectful adoration
for the flesh
which houses my soul.


“i dig big girls”
has always been the paramount reason
for the hands which have wandered
around my curves,
faux affectations cooed into my ear,
but i have never heard
“you’re beautiful”
without the parenthetical tag-along


(for a fat girl).


my body is not the society standard mold,
so toy with me!
toss me around!


never let me forget


how lucky i am
that you would stoop so low.


never let me forget
that this is a one-time thing,
that i will see your couch,
your bed,
but i am not worthy to be acquainted
with anything more,


you are doing me a favor.


that you do not date
girls
like
me.



never let me forget
that when i am in love with myself,
when i am comfortable
in my clothes, in my skin,
letting someone touch me,
letting someone love me


i am wrong.

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the sun rises


and we are kissing
the bones of yesterday.


i feel bold, i feel eternal
inside of the dew-drop déjà vu
beauty of it.


i don’t want to stop


to worry about our shadows.


---


<3C

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sext:
let’s sit next to each other
and try to pay attention to something else
when really all we can think of
is how badly we want to touch each other.


sext:
you’re beautiful
[cont’d]
i want to kiss you


sext:
let’s walk
somewhere quiet
and look at each other within the echoes
of our heartbeats.


sext:
come over
and i will lay in your lap
and blush at the feeling of your fingers
in my hair.


sext:
i trust you enough to tell you about the things that scare me.


sext:
i miss you
[cont’d]
but you make me feel so good
that happiness stays in me for days
after you’ve gone.
[cont’d]
for now that will be enough.

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  • let's look at romance in media vs romance in real life

  • what is considered "romantic" by different generations (what is different, what has stayed the same)

  • aromanticism!

  • is romance naturally occuring or is it forced? (are you trying to be romantic or did the circumstances/actions/emotions make a situation romantic on its own?)

  • elaborate gestures? simplicity?

  • what's the most romantic thing someone has done for you?

  • VALENTINE'S DAY

  • romantic period in the arts (favorite artists, favorite works)
    --> with the incredible power of technology, will we ever experience a romantic movement in the arts again (re: immersing oneself in nature)? because we are so wound-up in technology, is it only inevitable that we will find ourselves obsessing over the natural world once again?

  • how it is dangerous to hold a person up to your "romantic" ideals of them


---


literally had just crawled into bed and shut my eyes when i began thinking of this theme. i think we could do a lot with it!

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  • how can memories be good/bad? (ie. is it good to hold on to certain memories, even painful ones?, etc)

  • the way we tend to tie objects to memories, how that can effect us

  • the pattern of what we remember and what we forget

  • are our memories ever really exactly what happened, or just the rose-tinted version of events (initially i was looking at the theme of NOSTALGIA but i wanted to broaden it a bit so that the episode could go in a variety of places with it)

  • similarly (^), the often stark differences between how two people remember the same event

  • memory loss/amnesia

  • Alzheimer's/dementia


EDIT: ah! it seems MattConley and I were thinking along the same lines. (maybe i should have perused the collab before releasing this record) - ANYWAY! let's keep expanding the theme!

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you are my three a.m.
thoughts, those which glimmer
quietly in the darkness,


so gentle
i worry i might dissolve
beneath the honesty.


(i think
we have haunted each other
a very long time.)


---


i've had a hard time this week, hopefully i'll be more on top of this for the rest of the month.


<3C

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the best night so far
was sitting beside you,
watching every word that fell
from your mouth blossom
into trust


and being witness to the sparkling
buzz!
between your soul and mine.


---


this is poem is brave but is small and needs some nurturing. please remix in any way you are inspired to.


<3C

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I wake up looking in the mirror. I reflect inside of the reflection, wonder what could have happened during the night to make me look so bizarre in the morning. Wonder what I look like to other people. Wonder if I can trust the glass in front of me. Wonder if I have time to stand in front of the mirror wondering such silly things, begin to brush my teeth.


I walk down the street and see myself in shop windows -- a little distorted, a little faded. I am blurry when I jump over puddles. I am closer than I think when I look in the car’s mirror.


I worry about the way we allow something as fragile as glass or water to stand for us. We are who we see in the mirror. We exist believing we are our reflections, but what do we know? We are halved, changed, reversed, cut up, disfigured. I can smash the reflection just as easily as I can let it invade and poison my thoughts.


I can throw the glass to the floor. I can jump in the puddle.


But I wake myself up looking in the mirror. I brush my teeth and stare at my reflection. I wonder if she is someone I can ever learn to avoid.


 


---


i don't know whether I'm at all on point with fulfilling this request, but this is what was inspired after watching the new PATTERNS request video and looking through LaraMinerva's REFLECTIONS album. x

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Phenomenaaa-1537265

<3C

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"No. I love you."

"What are you-- Excuse me?"


xx

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