WEBSITE: http://www.blogger....
LOCATION: Virginia.
RECORDS: 14
LATEST RECORD: over 1 year ago
JOINED: November 23, 2009
LOCATION: Virginia.
RECORDS: 14
LATEST RECORD: over 1 year ago
JOINED: November 23, 2009
All monicazeeeennn's RECords
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She woke up in a fog. It was dense and humid. Its spit quickly formed to her forehead, like steam from a tea pot. Breathing felt like a duty rather than a necessity. Skinny dark hands made her sigh, another wasted morning on slumber. She kept her body still, with her eyes playing peek-a-boo, just to see if she was motivated enough to move. She was, but this didn’t mean much. [Get out of bed, brush your teeth, and take a shower…maybe brush your teeth in the shower? Go to the bathroom, yeah, I really have to go to the bathroom. ] Her face stayed numb and lifeless as she relieved herself. She felt no reason to be awake, or even alive, really. Not at this point. This was rock bottom. And if it wasn’t… Another reason to not be here. Instead of further contemplating some odd form of suicide she disrobed. Her glass reflection stared back at her reminding her of her numb state. [I should probably get a facial or something, I look dumb] She then noticed there were no towels behind her. She sighed. [Fuck] She stood for a bit more, and then it hit her. She didn’t want to take a shower. She didn’t want to do anything normal, anything to contribute to her numbness. She wanted the tingle. Her feet went sprinting down her hallway, minutes later her mind joined her. She flailed open her front door and ran outside. [I am outside. I am outside and I am naked.] Bare, she felt her face light up, it must have been hysteria, or some mix of humiliation and odd bliss. There was nobody outside, nobody to see her manican body unfreeze. Cool fall air raced through her body, in it and all around it. At least the fog was gone. [It’s weird to feel wind everywhere. God dammit it’s cold.] Rebellion, she felt as if she was starting a rebellion. She pondered knocking on everyone’s door, naked, and telling them that this was the way they were supposed to be, that clothes were merely blankets to keep us warm but not something to conform us from our pure selves. [I’m pretty sure I would get arrested. Fuck it.] One person, that’s all she needed. One witness to her fulfilling one desire she had today. But nobody was outside. [They are probably all showering.] Defeated, deflated. She pictured herself doing yoga on a blanket in her front yard, she thought that might be relaxing. [Alright it’s starting to get really fucking cold my nipples could like pierce through glass right now.] She laughed at herself, and then felt her face after she did. It was a high, laughing. She had heard somewhere that smiling in it of itself could make you happy, but she never had enough motivation. Hearing her normal sarcastic self pierce through the clouds of her misery in her brain made her laugh, and that made her temporarily happy. --HEY!!!!-- There was still nobody around. Who the hell could that be? She decided she should maybe go back inside now, but who was that? [Is this what it’s like to hear voices? I didn’t know that shit was actually fucking real… That is crazy. Heh, crazy.] She laughed again. Boy that felt good. --What the fuck are you doing?!-- Her eyes darted around her surroundings. [Okay seriously who the hell is that? Is that what my conscience sounds like? A dude? How bizarre.] Boom boom boom boom boom boom. The beats pounded in her ears and throughout her body, she was no longer cold, she was sweaty and nervous. She should probably go inside now. But she won’t. --Why are you naked!!!!-- This time she decided against fighting with it. Her thoughts stopped and her words started. She screamed back. --[[What’s it to you??]]-- --Well, you’re kind of naked.-- --[[And?]]-- A pause. --I mean…-- --[[Am I bothering you?]]-- --No. No not really. Are you insane?-- --[[Maybe. Maybe I just broke my insanity. ]]-- |
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they're searching for a high --that's easy to find... ---beating hearts--- -----bumps rising on skin----- it's not a difficult situation to land (in) they think they know love, or at least know it's face but all they know is lust and it's bittersweet taste i want to know... ---i believe i know love in it's purest form--- the kind that doesn't leave you heartbroken, crying, or torn the kind of love young should receive when they're born because the latter can lash out and it's remnants... scorn love is a high but love is also a gift ---it's easy to lose sight of such a seemly myth--- love comes from family but who says family is blood? we are all just people with the power to love |
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If it's words you spark then it's words I'll give If it's just a crush, so be it I'll live If it's a poet you make of me, then rhymes shall fall at your step If it's love you seek, mine? Well I might leave you inept... but "why?" you may ask, if you have so much to give? Then I'll answer: Because I've been burned before with love short lived. I may not follow orders You may think I should I'll have you know --I'm content-- & I wouldn't "would if I could" I'm not your genie \\in a bottle// I will do what I want But I do wish to please you, so your wishes I'll flaunt I won't tell you, sir to "be careful with my heart" because it is mine to protect, you wouldn't know where to start. I know my own brain like I know my own hands ------I am dumb on the subject of the brain of a man------- ---simply simple--- but so simply |{different}| My wish? To make that heart of yours f a l l ...... not too far, i don't want you in pain or...maybe i do maybe that's the point of the game. |
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today, today i cried today today i felt helpless and weak today the hole in my heart felt the bullet that scarred it. today i felt angry today i screamed cried at the unfairness of the world today it got me. today i wept and i can't say it "felt good" today i felt the blood from my heart seep out of my eyes. today i felt helpless today i felt weak and with a broken heart, i could not sleep. today i stared at your picture and shed the tears my eyes had forgotten to cry. today i felt jealous today i felt angry today, i asked the universe why others get their older sister their friend their person and mine left early but today... today i smiled and today i laughed today your bittersweet memory filled our house. today i grieve today i love tonight i'll sleep and dream of you. |
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in a place where no one understands i realize this was your best quality your ability to put on others shoes and tell them why they were walking funny i'm now in a barefoot world where you have moved on and live in memory and the words of songs sometimes i don't even feel the strength to write some days i think of ways to crawl out of this hole sometimes i forget to appreciate the sunlight on others i ponder the effects of living on an empty soul |
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