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Greenwig
by moffy
Released 2011-08-02 15:20:14 -0700
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The Bearded Lady took a bow


Although she longed to curtsey,


The audience clapped louder now


And whistled without mercy.


 


She smiled and when she left the ring


Trapeze artists took their places,


She sat beside the monkey king


And looked up at their faces.


 


Maria swung and triple-flipped;


Her pretty smile unfaltered.


The bearded lady sat tight-lipped


And wished she could be altered.


 


The beard, though entertaining, was


A nuisance when eating


She kept her head out of the warmth


For fear of overheating.


 


She hated people being shocked


At her feminine gender


For just like every woman


She too was loving and tender.


 


On this day she did decide


To win the heart of Mike


The Ring Master who could ride


A lion like a bike.


 


So out the Big Top, Beardy went


And found the sword-swallower's blade


She took some foam from the clown's cream pie


And with the two she made


 


A shaving kit to solve her woes


To de-fuzz her hairy chin


While she was at it she shaved her toes


Then took a deep breath in.


 


The crowd applauded Mike's display,


A flame juggling dance


But the clapping stopped and jaws dropped


As Beardy took her chance


 


To kiss her man who whispered then


''My lady I desire you


For seven years I've loved your beard


(But now I'll have to fire you)''


 


So that was it, the beard was shaven


The Lady got her catch,


They lived together in marital haven


With moustaches to match.

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(written 6th September 2011, on the bus journey to work.)


‘Sorry. Actually no, I’m not sorry’


 The fact that this was said as a ...

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by moffy
2011-09-06 18:45:44 +0700
149 Hits
4 Recommends
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AMNESIA

I’m trying to remember, but I think my name’s not Ben,
It could actually be Alice but I’ll have to think again.

Looking down I’ve got a...

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by moffy
2011-07-11 21:57:17 +0700
444 Hits
20 Recommends
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...

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R
by moffy
2011-07-29 22:53:55 +0700
221 Hits
4 Recommends
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This is planned to be a song- Kate Nash style... but I'm not really a singer.


 


When I bought it


I loved it


I hoped you’...

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by moffy
2011-08-08 22:03:43 +0700
91 Hits
3 Recommends
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I feel the footsteps behind me fall


Into a rhythm too precise


To be those of wandering crowds


 


I’m being followed by ghosts,


...
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by moffy
2011-07-29 23:06:49 +0700
136 Hits
5 Recommends
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A mix of hitrecord goodness that's in our very DNA. Adding resources later (at work)

by moffy
2011-07-21 21:17:01 +0700
434 Hits
13 Recommends
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The champagne flute longed to return to the orchestra.


 


But she was an alcoholic.

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by moffy
2011-07-06 01:04:17 -0700
232 Hits
7 Recommends
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Santa

My christmas request from when I was about 6 years old.

by moffy
2011-07-07 16:53:14 +0700
232 Hits
10 Recommends
by moffy
2011-07-06 23:15:33 +0700
84 Hits
2 Recommends
by moffy
2011-07-07 17:01:50 +0700
227 Hits
9 Recommends
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(An attempt to make the worst day of a guy's life vaguely humourous...)


Lisa Monroe, will you marry me?


 


&...
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by moffy
2011-07-08 23:48:48 +0700
108 Hits
2 Recommends
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So you claimed today


You can read me like a book?


What a claim to make


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by moffy
2011-07-18 19:03:52 +0700
81 Hits
0 Recommends