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The Bearded Lady
moffy Released Aug 02, 2011

The Bearded Lady took a bow

Although she longed to curtsey,

The audience clapped louder now

And whistled without mercy.

She smiled and when she left the ring

Trapeze artists took their places,

She sat beside the monkey king

And looked up at their faces.

Maria swung and triple-flipped;

Her pretty smile unfaltered.

The bearded lady sat tight-lipped

And wished she could be altered.

The beard, though entertaining, was

A nuisance when eating

She kept her head out of the warmth

For fear of overheating.

She hated people being shocked

At her feminine gender

For just like every woman

She too was loving and tender.

On this day she did decide

To win the heart of Mike

The Ring Master who could ride

A lion like a bike.

So out the Big Top, Beardy went

And found the sword-swallower's blade

She took some foam from the clown's cream pie

And with the two she made

A shaving kit to solve her woes

To de-fuzz her hairy chin

While she was at it she shaved her toes

Then took a deep breath in.

The crowd applauded Mike's display,

A flame juggling dance

But the clapping stopped and jaws dropped

As Beardy took her chance

To kiss her man who whispered then

''My lady I desire you

For seven years I've loved your beard

(But now I'll have to fire you)''

So that was it, the beard was shaven

The Lady got her catch,

They lived together in marital haven

With moustaches to match.

(written 6th September 2011, on the bus journey to work.)

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This is planned to be a song- Kate Nash style... but I'm not really a singer.

When I bought it

I loved it

I hoped you’d love it too

Really I bought it for you

That dress in...

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I feel the footsteps behind me fall

Into a rhythm too precise

To be those of wandering crowds

I’m being followed by ghosts,

Sent to track my every move,

Cloaked in commonplace shrouds


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The champagne flute longed to return to the orchestra.

But she was an alcoholic.

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So you claimed today

You can read me like a book?

What a claim to make


I know you can't as

You cannot read Japanese

Take a second look


At my thoughts I hid

In nihongo all this time


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