- Last Record:
- Joined: Jul 10, 2010
The Bearded Lady took a bow
Although she longed to curtsey,
The audience clapped louder now
And whistled without mercy.
She smiled and when she left the ring
Trapeze artists took their places,
She sat beside the monkey king
And looked up at their faces.
Maria swung and triple-flipped;
Her pretty smile unfaltered.
The bearded lady sat tight-lipped
And wished she could be altered.
The beard, though entertaining, was
A nuisance when eating
She kept her head out of the warmth
For fear of overheating.
She hated people being shocked
At her feminine gender
For just like every woman
She too was loving and tender.
On this day she did decide
To win the heart of Mike
The Ring Master who could ride
A lion like a bike.
So out the Big Top, Beardy went
And found the sword-swallower's blade
She took some foam from the clown's cream pie
And with the two she made
A shaving kit to solve her woes
To de-fuzz her hairy chin
While she was at it she shaved her toes
Then took a deep breath in.
The crowd applauded Mike's display,
A flame juggling dance
But the clapping stopped and jaws dropped
As Beardy took her chance
To kiss her man who whispered then
''My lady I desire you
For seven years I've loved your beard
(But now I'll have to fire you)''
So that was it, the beard was shaven
The Lady got her catch,
They lived together in marital haven
With moustaches to match.
(written 6th September 2011, on the bus journey to work.)
‘Sorry. Actually no, I’m not sorry’
The fact that this was said as a ...
This is planned to be a song- Kate Nash style... but I'm not really a singer.
When I bought it
I loved it
I hoped you’...
I feel the footsteps behind me fall
Into a rhythm too precise
To be those of wandering crowds
I’m being followed by ghosts,
A mix of hitrecord goodness that's in our very DNA. Adding resources later (at work)
The champagne flute longed to return to the orchestra.
But she was an alcoholic.
(An attempt to make the worst day of a guy's life vaguely humourous...)
Lisa Monroe, will you marry me?