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Dear Hucky,


You are my best friend. We'd go fishing, hunting, we'd tell stories and we'd drink (at least before my bad liver and your trick back) till we saw stars in the daylight. You confided in me. You told me you were scared of the dark and I listened and was there for you. But then when you were home by yourself, I would sneak on over to your fuse box and disconnect the whole thing! You'd start crying and I'd just hoot all the way back home. It brought me supreme joy for many years. I know you thought it was ghosts, but it wasn't. It was me. And I actually kind of feel bad. Don't be mad at me, or else I'll come back as a ghost and really freak you out.


Your Friend,


Henry Adam Wood

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Dear Rosie Lopez,


Miss Rosie, you worked for me from April the 12th 2003 to June 10th 2005. And in that time I never spoke a word to you. You would clean around me, say "gracias" when I paid you, and bring me my supper on time at always the right temperature. I fired you without notice and you were probably wondering why… NO HABLO ESPANOL SENORITA. BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA. LEARN ENGLISH. OPEN A BOOK AND TEACH YOURSELF THE LANGUAGE OF THIS COUNTRY, YOU NO DOUBT, ILLEGALLY CROSSED INTO.


De nada,


Henry Adam Wood

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Dear Major Jeffries,


As I lay here, on my death bed, I am filled with memories of my time in your command. You may have thought I questioned your post, but we both came out alive, though not many of those in my regiment did. And you lost your leg. Shot your own leg off… trying to kill a mouse was it? I'm sorry for one, I was not around to see that. Your leadership always affirmed my beliefs… In nepotism.


May the ground be ever uneven at your feet, you hobbling idiot,


Private Henry Adam Wood

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Dear Rebecca (Hill) Masterson,


I am sorry to tell you dearest Rebecca that I have reached my final days. I am sitting on my bed now, my feet chilled and my skin dry, I haven't had a great bowel movement in a few months and I think back on our time together. We were so young then. How blonde your hair was. How thin you were. How I loved you. How you left me for that hulking idiot Maxwell on the day before our senior dance. How he got you pregnant that night. How you had to be sent away to "camp". How all of a sudden you had a new "sister". How is your sister? I ran into her at a bar a few years ago. She gave me a lap dance. I told her, "you look just like your mom". How she looked at me with tears in her eyes. Sorry about that.


Best to your family,


Henry Adam Wood

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Dear Sister Cathleen,


I am sorry to inform you that I am dying. News of my illness has brought upon much sadness amongst my friends and my acquaintances are full of remorse for not knowing me better.


I am writing you as a courtesy to inform you of my coming memorial and also to apologize sincerely for my behavior in your 5th grade classroom, but now as I reach my end I can honestly say that you smelled like cheese. And I hate cheese.


I hope this letter finds you alive, only so that you may take my advice and bathe before you enter the ground, you blood sucking spawn of satan.


Cordially,


Henry Adam Wood

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INT. THOMAS' APARTMENT -The apartment is designed well, but is disheveled.


Thomas, a man about 30/40 years old, messy hair, nice build in a relaxed dress at home, works on his computer.


His face squints as he decides the correct button to press.


He chooses.


"ERROR"


Thomas


No, no, no, no, no. This cannot be happening.


He shakes the computer slightly. He shakes it another time, slightly more aggressive. He hits the "enter" button, the "esc" button. None of them work.


A sad face comes up on the computer, which shuts it down.


INT. THOMAS' APARTMENT - Moments later


Thomas is in the storage closet digging through boxes. He doesn't know where anything is.


Thomas


Come on, come on. Where are you?


He digs to the back where he sees a box labeled "computer".


Thomas


Thank you.


INT. THOMAS' APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER


Thomas is back at his computer desk on the telephone with the computer manual in front of him.


He enters numbers on the phone.


Voice automated system


Press 1 if you are having an issue with your internet connection. Press 2 if you are having an issue with your bluetooth connection. Press 3 if you are an having an issue with....


INT. THOMAS' APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER


Thomas is staring at his phone in pure rage with his finger over the buttons of his phone.


VOICE AUTOMATED SYSTEM


Press 15 if you are having an issue with screen---


Thomas


Come on, you little witch!


VOICE AUTOMATED SYSTEM


Press 16 if you have reached an error message and your computer has turned black.


Thomas


(he is so overly ready, that he fumbles the phone, a little)


That's it! Sixteen. Sixteen.


Thomas enters "1-6".


VOICE AUTOMATED SYSTEM


Please hold.


Elevator music beings to play.


Thomas sinks into himself and lays his head on the desk with the phone next to his ear. He begins to sniffle, but he hides his face so we don't know if he is really crying.


INT. THOMAS' APARTMENT - Minutes LATER


Thomas is in the same position, but the music has changed to some alt rock.


Thomas pathetically sings a long to the familiar song.


Jane


Hello, RES Media, this is Jane, may I get your first name?


Thomas


Oh, hi! Someone's really there! Jane. Oh, my name is Thomas. Sorry.


Jane


It's okay Thomas. So what seems to be the problem today?


Thomas


Oh. Well I pressed "16"?


Jane


I'm sorry, you pressed 16 on your computer? Is the keyboard not working?


Thomas


No! No. Sorry. No. On the menu of this, uh... Well I was doing some, uh, financial stuff. I must have pressed the wrong button. This big error message came up and then it made a sad face and then it turned off. It's been a really bad week. My--


Jane


Was it a Red error message or a Black error message?


Thomas


It was black. I think? Yeah. Black.


Jane


Okay. Let me see if I can't do something about that today. Thomas?


Thomas


Yes?


JANE


I need you to flip your computer over and tell me the number on the back.


Thomas


Oh okay. (he does this) 567AB211


Jane


Okay. Is your computer connected to the internet?


Thomas


Yes, Well, yes. It was.


Jane


One moment.


Thomas just stares out. He doesn't know what is happening, if she is still there, then--


The computer turns on with a loud sound.


Thomas


Are you st---Oh! It's on! Oh wow thank you! (he begins to cheer)


Int. RES MEdia Tech Support


Jane, in her late 20s, sits at her computer typing in code. She is pretty, but not glamorous. She wears a clean, delicate blouse, and her hair is down and kept short.


She smiles.


Jane


You're very excited. (she lets out a giggle and then turns around to look that no one heard her)


Thomas (Vo)


I am!


INT. THOMAS' APARTMENT -


Thomas (cont)


So is that it?


INT. RES MEDIA TECH SUPPORT


Jane


I'm afraid not. Is there a circle spinning on your screen or did it get to the home page?


INT. THOMAS' APARTMENT -


Thomas


It's a circle, spinning. (his excitement fades)


JANE


That's okay, Thomas. I need you to hold down the command key and the letter F. Can you do that?


THOMAS


Sure.


He does it.


Jane


Okay, now give it a minute.


INT. RES MEDIA TECH SUPPORT


THOMAS


Thank you for being so helpful. I'm really not good with computers, my wife usually--


Jane


That's okay. It's my job, Thomas.


Jane is not encouraged to get personal with the callers, so she is feeling nervous, even though the tone of his voice makes her want to talk to him.


INT. THOMAS' APARTMENT -


The circle is still spinning.


THOMAS


Right. It is your job. Well, thank you, for helping me while you do your job.


INT. RES MEDIA TECH SUPPORT


Jane smiles at this.


Jane


You're welcome.


INT. THOMAS' APARTMENT -


Thomas leans back in his chair and watches the computer.


THOMAS


So what happens next? I just wait?


INT. RES MEDIA TECH SUPPORT


Jane


I'm afraid so. The computer is communicating with our serv--


THOMAS


You don't have to go into details, I wouldn't understand them.


Jane


Would you like to be put on hold, while you wait? My computer will let me know when we've gotten access..


INT. THOMAS' APARTMENT -


Thomas sits erect.


Thomas


No! (holds himself back) I mean, no that's okay. That awful music they play... (covering)


Jane


Right.


THOMAS


Also it's just nice to talk to someone about something else.


Thomas slumps into his hand.


INT. RES MEDIA TECH SUPPORT


Jane bites her top lip.


Jane


Are there any other problems I can help you out with while we are waiting?


Jane bites her bottom lip.


INT. THOMAS' APARTMENT -


THOMAS


(he laughs to himself)


I have many, but none that you could solve while we are waiting.


INT. RES MEDIA TECH SUPPORT


Jane


Try me.


Jane looks around to make sure no one is hearing her.


INT. THOMAS' APARTMENT -


THOMAS


How are you at planning funerals?


Jane


Oh.. I've never... I'm sorry. Who?


THOMAS


My wife. Jennifer. She was beautiful.


He rests his head on the desk and begins to really cry this time.


INT. RES MEDIA TECH SUPPORT


Jane hears nothing and then some wimpering.


Jane


Thomas? I'm so sorry.


She worries if she's saying the right thing. She goes through her script on her desk quickly and then gives up.


Jane


When did it happen?


INT. THOMAS' APARTMENT -


Thomas is weeping on his desk. He picks his head up and grabs his forehead with his fingers to stop a headache.


THOMAS


Friday (he squeezes out). She had cancer, for a few months. It got really bad. She used to always take care of things and now I'm a total mess.


He gives into his desk again.


INT. RES MEDIA TECH SUPPORT


Jane looks down for a few moments. She goes to her computer to see if its fixed. "60%"-it reads.


Jane twiddles her fingers.


THOMAS


I'm sorry.


JANE


No! No. I'm sorry. They tell us not to talk to people about, personal, um... and I see why, because I don't know..


THOMAS


It's okay. It's my fault. I'm a mess.


JANE


No. Of course you are! I mean you have every right to be. That was your wife and cancer is terrible. I mean, you're not a mess.


THOMAS


You know someone that had cancer?


JANE


My Dad.


INT. THOMAS' APARTMENT -


THOMAS


(almost seems relieved)


That's terrible.


JANE


He's still alive.


THOMAS


Oh.


Jane


But it always might come back. He's had it twice. The chemo always runs him down. Hes a great dad. I don't know what I'd do without him.


THOMAS


Yeah.


INT. RES MEDIA TECH SUPPORT


Jane


Oh! I didn't mean that! YOU will be fine.


She looks around again, to really make sure no one can hear her.


INT. THOMAS' APARTMENT -


Thomas holds the phone up to his ear and covers his face with his other hand.


THOMAS


So how much longer on this spinning circle, Jane?


INT. RES MEDIA TECH SUPPORT


Jane


It's at 91%


INT. THOMAS' APARTMENT -


THOMAS


Okay.


He takes a moment.


THOMAS


She was so smart with technology. She could fix anything. It was one of the reasons why I married her. I always broke everything, and she always fixed it. But I couldn't fix her. There was nothing---(he breaks down) We were trying to get pregnant when she found out. We were going to have a family, one day... Jane, I'm sorry. You're just fixing a computer. You don't..


INT. RES MEDIA TECH SUPPORT


THOMAS (CONT)


need to hear me talk about this... You're a total stranger.


Jane sits in silence, tears form in her eyes.


THOMAS


That's good. About your dad. (trying to pull himself together) I hoped that Jennifer would have that. Worst case she would have to go in for check ups. It all happened so fast. The diagnosis, the treatments. I don't want to remember her like that!


The bar on Jane's computer reaches 100%.


JANE


That's it.


Thomas


What?


JANE


Is... your computer on?


She hears a loud ding from the other side.


THOMAS


Yes.


Jane is trying to compose herself.


JANE


Good. I'm so happy-


Thomas


What is this?


Jane hears a woman's voice.


THOMAS


She recorded a video.


Jane hears him laugh.


Jennifer (VO)


Oh Thomas, what did you do! Did you break the computer?? AGAIN? I thought this might happen.. And I just wanted to leave you with a video telling you how everything works. Now get a pen and paper.


Thomas pauses the video.


Jane is crying heavily, but as silently as she can.


THOMAS


I...Thank you Jane. I should go get a pen and paper.


JANE


Okay, Thomas. It was a pleasure helping you today.


THOMAS


Goodbye


JANE


Goodbye


Jane quickly hangs up the phone. She sits there for a moment trying to hold herself in.


She reaches for her phone and picks up the next line.


JANE


Hello, RES Media, this is Jane, may I get your first name?


THE END

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Episode:


Fantasy/ Intro:


 Record:


Departures


Location: Fargo North Dakota and parts of Minnesota to lake country. 


Bio: I am a plus model and Nyu acting graduate. I am a writer and an aspiring filmmaker.


Link: http://www.hitrecord.org/records/823296


About the Record:


I was home for a few days and My friend from highschool Kassle had been posting pictures online and I wanted to take a few photos of her. I went over to her house to style and she had a huge closet of amazing clothes and the story just came to me. I saw everything and I had just been familiarized with the concept of "departures" on hitrecord the writing by Serpentthecharmer, so I had it in mind that I might use this footage for that. On the day of the shoot I got into a real bad fight with my mom, (we were fighting the whole time). We were originally just supposed to shoot around the cornfields in fargo, but I made her drive an hour and a half away to her lake house so we could keep going. We stopped on the middle of the road and it was so nice to organically make something that turned out to be so usable by hitrecord artists.  The process was cathartic for me. Kassle has been the muse to a few different story tellers, and I'm glad hitrecord was able to identify with her beauty and the beauty of my home.

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https://archive.org/details/TheFatSpy


 


I think hitrecord should do its own version.

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first the fats then the beat sample.


FOR REMIXING PURPOSES AND REAPPROPRIATING PURPORSES ONLY

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Marcellepallais-1597459

https://archive.org/details/0527_Coney_Island_01_41_04_01

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https://archive.org/details/0858_Pork_People_Like_12_35_30_00


https://archive.org/details/0750_As_Boys_Grow_14_14_17_16


https://archive.org/details/ForHealt1941


https://archive.org/details/TheFatSpy


https://archive.org/details/0527_Coney_Island_01_41_04_01


https://archive.org/details/betv-16698paranormal-insights-episode-42---the-metaphysics-of-being-fat

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