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Joan Lim
- Singapore
- Last Record: 2012-08-26 17:11:14 +0800
- Joined: Aug 21, 2012
- http://maoooz.tumblr.com
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A strange (sort of) emptiness where I feel like I'm fading away slowly in a photograph. Maybe not a photograph (because that's gross and cheesy), perhaps more like rain running on a clear transparent glass. Disappearing and re-appearing within seconds. I used feel an overpowering strength within me of trios that spoke aloud. Lately (or rather gradually), they've diminished tremendously and I find myself unable to read, write, listen or watch. I, however, am just in a state of being. If you ask me if I enjoy this state of being, frankly, I feel nothing towards this supposed happiness, joy or relief. I've grown to knowing the difference between sensitivity and emotionality. Right now, I would say that I could be emotional and I am (almost) completely insenstive. That's probably how my heart's disconnected. If you question how I've gotten to this state (whether or not its deemed as a tragedy), perhaps, I'd know the root of it. However, the question isn't about how it started but more of, how am I going to get out of this rut. Frankly, I am absolutely clueless. So lately, the questions are, "What's wrong with me?", "How do I get out of this?" and "How much longer will I (choose) to be like this?". |
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I stayed in the shower a little longer today. Only because in that very small cubicle, my mind clouded as fast as the steam in the room. I knelt down, feeling my flesh fit into the grids o... |
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I felt naked and exposed. Buried and engulfed by torrents of snow. The barren open fields felt so heartlessly empty for once. The cold winter hit everything hard. Everything had gone bare.... |
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