Dearest Michelle,
I am writing to tell you that your gift of Bear Accountants was a flop. Where, oh where to begin? Contrary to your opinion, bears do not make good accountants. They are not good at math, they constantly make mistakes on my 1040 forms, and their fat bear fingers aren’t able to manipulate the calculators I provide for them. Not that that matters, of course, they haven't even touched the calculators besides to sniff them or lightly chew a corner. Second, bears poop everywhere. If they were better accountants, I might be able to overlook this small problem, but they are not, and I am not pleased. Third, you have not provided enough food to feed 6 bears for all of tax season. They ate the twenty-pack of bean burritos in a breakfast rush, and since then I've been feeding them various toiletries I’ve got around the house; shampoos, shaving creams, and such. Seriously Michelle, get your act together and either find me some better Bear Accountants or teach these ones basic arithmetic. 3 + 9 does not equal bear attacks. It equals twelve, Michelle. Twelve.

Nearing April,
Jules