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My head pillowed upon Lust, I cling to

Breaths tangled together as he whispers,

“My brothers and I are coming for you.

Take care now. Beware the coming winters."


Winter came. I battled them one by one.

First was Greed with his selfish eyes and hands,

Took what wasn’t his until there was none.

And then Sloth, the one who scraped all my plans.


The Glutton was next, inside me, raging,

His own needs above mine, leaving Envy

Thriving with green eyes. Then Wrath came riding

With Pride, victorious, almost friendly.


“What has happened to me?” I asked cold Lust.

But then he grimaced, silent, in disgust.

Shakespeare, eat your heart out. 

Joy: It’s ironic, isn’t it?


Mike: What is?


Joy: Aren’t you listening? I’m talking about my dream - the one I had about my grandma.


Mike: Sorry, babe.


Joy: [sighing] Like I was...

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Agent 999 reporting…

Planet already inhabited. Approx. 7 billion humans. Number of lower life forms undetermined.


“Advance” technology appears to be subpar compared to Mortis-52....

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When I had left Los Angeles in the early morning, the sun had barely risen, but it didn’t take long until the light was so blinding, it was like driving through a storm, but this...

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Mike’s penis turned into a pickle on Monday.


He got up for his morning piss, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes with one hand and using the other to pull out his dick from his grey...

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