Thanks for the help! Here is the screenplay link http://v4.hitrecord.org/records/362099 Thanks so much for the help. Its a couple pages longer than what you recommended. Just tell me what you think or to go to hell either way constructive criticism is welcome.
A private investigator enlists the help of the mob, and hatches an elaborate ransom scenario in order to seek revenge on the people responsible for murdering his wife and child.
*This is the first couple of pages of a feature length screenplay. If you want to read on or have any ideas message me.*
INT. - HUGE GARAGE - MORNING
SHUFFLING of feet are heard.
Along with MUMBLED talking.
Sitting in a chair tied up a man sits, medium weight, mid-twenties wearing nothing but a black T-shirt, pants with no socks or shoes. This is MARK LANGLAND.
He bobs his head around the room looking to see what is going - everything is hazy.
MARK (V.O.) (softly)
Where the hell am I?
A couple of the hazy figures see Mark looking around.
MARK (V.O.) (CONT’D) (softly)
What the hell did I get myself into? Things have gone horribly wrong. She was right.
EXT. - OUTSIDE COURTHOUSE - AFTERNOON
Sounds of a growing metropolis fill the air.
A sheet of newspaper RUSTLES down the street.
Reporters and cameramen come BURSTING out of the front courthouse doors.
CLAMORING on about the case that just ended.
All of them watching their step as they back down the steps of the courthouse.
Mrs. McHenry, do you plan on seeing your husband in prison?
How do you feel?
Was it the outcome you wanted?
The reporters part in the center.
Revealing a man and a woman. The man is MARK dressed in a three piece suit, nicely trimmed, gentle demeanor but his eyes tell a different story. He is being held at the arm by a woman, voluptuous body, blonde hair, dress skirt suit, eyes red and swollen from crying. This is STACY MCHENRY.
Both are followed by a team of lawyers.
STACY almost trips down the steps but Mark catches her before she does.
Detective Langland? Do you think the out come was just?
Mark looks at Stacy.
Mark, don’t answer it.
Mark turns around to the REPORTER 4. The reporter and Mark lock eyes.
Did it seem like justice, when people where getting robbed and murdered by a low-life thug?
Mark breaks his concentration on the reporter.
A few seconds pass.
I didn’t think so.
Mark looks back down at the reporter.
And it’s private eye. I’m not a cop. Better men than I are cops.
Mark turns back around to Stacy. They begin to walk away.
There are reports that you assaulted people to get the information you needed. Any idea why they are saying that?
Mark stops dead in his tracks.
Mark turns back around towards REPORTER 1.
Why does it matter?
Well, who gave you the power?
Hypothetically. I would do something like that because good people have had enough of the rich and powerful getting away with everything.
There is a reason we have a justice system.
Everyone turns to Mark to catch his response.
Yea. How’s that going?
Mark takes a couple steps towards the reporters, subtly.
Do you honestly think murderers, rapist, and child molesters think about the justice system?
That’s what makes us better than them.
See that’s the thing isn't? People wanting to feel higher than someone else, the “God” complex.
What about the case that was just closed? He was served justice today. Isn’t that good enough?
Two years in prison is not enough time for human trafficking, murder and rape.
That is the time the judge deemed necessary for the crimes he...
Mark cuts him off.
Oh for fuck-sake! Shut the hell up. Someone obviously paid off the judge. That’s the problem with this whole system isn’t. People automatically assume that if a person is going to prison then it must be the best the justice system can do. Well people are idiots because that is not the only thing the justice system can do.
What exactly else can there be?
Humiliation. Lets say someone is convicted of rape. You then give them about six months in prison and release them. When they are comfortable and think they have things in control. You find a guy with the biggest dick to rape the shit out of that person. Tit for tat.
I’m sorry Mark. I just don’t see that actually happening. I mean look at what happened to your wife and daughter. Do you actually think that method would work for you? Mark goes stone cold with his look and doesn’t leave his eyes from the reporter. Stacy approaches Mark and grabs his forearm, attempting to get Mark’s attention.
Come on. Let’s go.
Mark is still staring down the reporter.
I don’t want you to mention either of them again. Got me?
The reporter nods his head in compliance.
Just then a group of people come out of the court building, breaking everybody’s concentration. Lawyers for Stacy’s husband come marching out, willing to give a statement.
Leading the group of layers is a woman mid-thirties, brunette, professional suit, glasses. This is ELIZABETH.
She approaches one of the reporters with a mic.
Ms. Montgomery, how did you think things went in there?
Call me Elizabeth. First off I would like to say this. What happened in there was a complete disrespect for the law. Secondly, nobody deserves to be treated like the way Mr. McHenry was treated.
Mark YELLS out from the crowd.
Everybody turns to Mark.
People in front of Mark part to either side of him, leaving an open space between him and Elizabeth.
Ah, Mr. Langland. So nice of you to be here today. So, how many women did you help today with their baby daddy issues?
The crowd chuckles, lightly.
I’m not sure. Your sister isn’t quite sure who she has been fucking.
The crowd chuckles once again, lightly.
What are you doing here Mark? Shouldn’t you be out partying. You got your conviction.
Mark slowly starts walking towards Elizabeth.
What he got was not justice.
Oh please. He got what the state deemed right by the law.
Drugs, rape, murder, and human trafficking. Those all carry a huge amount of time in prison. But some how he only got two years with the option of parole.
Mark is now inches away from Elizabeth, stops and leans towards her ear.
MARK (CONT’D) (whispering)
I don’t how you did it. But I will expose you for the cunt that you are.
Watch yourself Mr. Langland. Or you may be seeing your family sooner than you think.
Mark pulls back staring at Elizabeth with rage in his eyes. When someone approaches Mark from behind.
Private Investigator Mark Langland.
Mark breaks his concentration from Elizabeth and turns around.
Just then the man pulls out a gun and points it at Mark.
Several people from the crowd SCREAM.
Everybody scatters like roaches to a light.
He’s got a gun!
Mark quickly places his hand on top of the gun, pushing the gun down towards the ground, simultaneously turning around the HITMAN, nailing him with an elbow to the head.
Mark catches a glimpse of Elizabeth as he is dealing with the hitman - she’s smiling at me.
Mark hits the release button for the clip of the gun. Then Mark pulls back the chamber, releasing the bullet in the chamber.
Mark then sends his knee into the mans arm.
Bones SNAPPING are heard.
The hitman SCREAMS out in pain.
Mark returns to the front of the hitman. The hitman is crouched over in pain, favoring his arm. Marks stares at him for a couple of seconds, then sends a fist into the mans head.
The hitman crashes onto the ground, lifeless.
Mark looks around and sees nobody around.
Stacy is crouched behind a nearby car.
Mark continues to search for anybody nearby.
Mark YELLS out to anybody listening.
Why did everybody run?! See! Outside of a fucking courthouse and this lovely gentleman still tries to commit a crime! Your justice system is fucked!
Mark hears sirens off into the distance.
He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a cigarette pack with a lighter.
Pulls a cigarette out, puts it to his lips, strikes the lighter and brings it up to the cigarette.
Mark takes a long inhale, followed by a long exhale.
Puts the cigarette pack and lighter back in his coat, then reaches behind him and pulls out a handgun. Lays it on the ground and proceeds to stand on his knees with his arms stretched out to his side, Cigarette still in mouth.
Sirens get closer.
MARK (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Somebody once told me that people will do nothing but argue over what they believe is right, but never take action. Well all that changed for me the moment my life was taken. What follows is not a man standing up for the weak but taking back his life once and for all.
Two police cars come to a SCREECHING halt in front of Mark.
Police men come barreling out of the cars, guns trained on Mark.
POLICEMAN 1 (O.C.)
FADE TO BLACK.
INT. - INSIDE MARK’S CAR - MIDNIGHT
Mark is driving, enjoying a cigarette in his hand with the radio playing softly in the background as he drives.
Stacy reaches over and turns the radio down. Mark looks at Stacy to see what is wrong.
Mark takes his eyes off the road for a second.
I just want to ask you a question?
Mark turns his attention back towards the road.
Can we talk about what happened earlier?
What about earlier?
That reporter mentioned your wife and child. And you looked like you could take his head off right there.
I don’t care. He had no right to mention them and he knew it.
Stacy pauses for a few seconds and turns her head towards the road.
Care to talk about what happened with them?
Mark turns down a back road and flips his brights on.
Look, I know I have only known you for a couple months now. But I think we have became more than just a employee-employer relationship.
Fair enough. What do you want to know?
How long have you been in the private eye business?
That’s your question? You asked to talk about my family and you start with how long have I been doing what I do? I like long walks on the beach and the color red. Just to get those out of the way.
I was just trying to work you up to the real questions.
Either ask or don’t. Stop pussy footing around the topic at hand.
This is why nobody likes you. Always have to be an ass. Shut up and answer the question.
Fine. Um... For a while. A friend of mine talked me into doing it.
Was that before or after you meet your wife?
After. We had been dating for a little while.
What were their names?
My wife’s name is Jackie. My daughter’s name is Gracie-Lynn. Named after her grandmother.
When was your daughter born?
How did it happened?
I went out to get groceries. From what I was told, possibly two men, came in raped my wife and murdered my daughter. Didn’t steal anything, they just came in for one thing.
A tear runs down Marks cheek. Mark quickly composes himself, takes one last hit from his cigarette and flicks it out the window.
Anybody brought in?
No. They said they didn’t have enough evidence for who they thought it was.
Don’t know. They never told me.
Stacy just stares at Mark for a couple of second - poor man.
She then turns her attention to the road.
Don’t forget that my driveway is a sharp left coming up.
Mark gives a polite yes-I-know head bob.
Mark soon sees a silhouette of someone standing beside a car with the hood open and smoke coming off of it.
I don’t know. But I should see if he needs help.
Mark pulls the car right behind the broken down car, puts it in park and shuts it off.
Sit tight. This should only be a couple of seconds.
EXT. - DUSTY BACK ROAD - CONTINUOUS
Two cars sit on a empty back road with trees on both side.
Nature CHIRPS in the woods.
Mark opens the door and heads towards the figure.
As he walks towards the figure the person is slowly revealed to be a man in his mid-twenties, dark hair, medium built. This is CHAD.
Mark holds out his right hand as he gets closer.
They shake hands and greet each other.
Hi, my name is Mark.
So what seems to be the problem?
Well, I honestly don’t know.
The two men walk towards the front of the car. Out of Stacy’s sight.
INT. - INSIDE MARK’S CAR - MOMENTS LATER
Stacy squirms back and forth to try and keep an eye on Mark.
Mark. What the hell are you doing?
EXT. - DUSTY BACK ROAD - MOMENTS LATER
Mark looks at the car for a couple seconds to assess the problem.
Wow. You really fucked this car up.
Yeah, your belt is warped from the looks of it. Your best bet would be to have it towed and go from there.
Damn, I have no insurance on this car. I have no way to do that.
Mark pauses, looks at the car then at Chad.
Don’t worry about it. I can take care of it.
Mark reaches in his pants pocket, pulls out a cell phone, flips it open and begins to dial.
Great, You want me to go tell Stacy you will be a little while longer.
In mid-dial Mark stops and realizes he never told him about the woman he is with.
How did you know her name?
I’m sorry, what?
The woman I’m with, How did you know her name?
Chad looks down at the car chuckling, realizing he has been busted.
Chad quickly swings at Mark.
Mark grabs Chad’s fist in mid-swing, and sends his own cheap shot hurling towards Chad’s gut.
The punch connects, Chad exhales sharply.
Chad falls over on to the hot engine.
Chad SCREAMS out.
Mark starts to run towards his car.
Stacy, start the car and get the hell out of here!
Stacy exits the passenger side to see what is going on.
Get in the car and...
Just then the back passenger side door of Chad’s car, swings open.
Hitting Mark in the mid-section cutting him off from warning Stacy.
Mark bends down GASPING for breath.
When two figures come storming behind the door. One of them grabs Mark and holds him up while the other one throws punches into his face.
Chad comes stumbling from behind the front of the car, nursing the side of his head.
Stacy gets in the driver side of the car and tries to start it.
Forget him, get her! That’s the one he wants.
The two thugs release Mark, he falls to the ground, and begin to head towards Stacy.
INT. - INSIDE MARK’S CAR - CONTINUOUS
Stacy frantically tries to start the engine while Chad’s thugs quickly approach the car.
Come on, come on. Fucking start!
One thug rips the driver side door open, while the other begins to grab the girl.
Stacy begins to kick and SCREAM, trying her hardest to put up a fight.
NO! Get the hell off of me!
One thug leans over and slugs her right in the head, knocking her out.
The thug then drags Stacy out, puts her over his shoulder and walks towards the car.
EXT. - DUSTY BACK ROAD - CONTINUOUS
Chad is laying into Mark as the two thugs approach him. Chad see’s them coming and stops for a second.
CHAD (heavily breathing)
Put her in the trunk.
They open the trunk and throw her in it, SLAMMING the trunk shut.
CHAD (CONT’D) (catching his breath)
Pick that up.
Pointing towards Mark’s barely alive body.
They pick him up and drag him towards the woods.
Stop. Right here is fine.
They hoist his body up, to reveal that he is still conscious trying to say something.
I will find you.
Oh, I seriously doubt that. See, I got paid a lot of money to make sure that doesn’t happen.
Mark takes the blood that is resting in his mouth and spits it in Chad’s face.
Chad whips out a cloth and wipes off his face and throws a couple more punches into Mark’s face, knocking him out.
The two thugs drop his body in the woods.
The two thugs walk towards Mark’s car and get in it.
While Chad closes the hood of his car and gets in.
Both cars drive off.
FADE TO BLACK:
How would I go about posting one for people to view?