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(a transcript of my video testimonial, resourced below:)


A few years ago, I found myself trapped in an abusive relationship. It wasn't with a person, or any living, breathing entity. It was with an idea.


I was in an abusive relationship with the idea that I was fat.


I'm privileged in the sense that I have never been physically overweight by any medical definition of the word. But, fat as I experienced it wasn't a physical thing -- it was more like a feeling.


I think the word fat has many definitions. (...) I think in its most common form as its used, it's a feeling or a perception that we have about ourselves or about others.


I think in order to overcome fat, what I had to realize and what anyone should realize is this: The feeling of being fat weighs down on you far more than the physical existence of fat inside your body.


If you truly want to be free of the heavy burden of fat, don't start by losing weight. Start by gaining confidence.


In order to stop feeling fat, you have to lift that negative feeling off your shoulders. And maybe that starts by redefining the word and seeing it in a positive light, or dismissing it altogether. But as long as you look at fat as a negative thing that defines you, regardless of your size, you won't be happy.

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it isn't quite a number, more like an unattainable thing that many aspire towards -- functions stretching to infinity, people yearning for infinity -- infinite love, infinite wealth, infinite hope. there are multiple types of infinities, which is kind of mind-boggling to think about. there are multiple ways to reach infinity (hypothetically and mathematically speaking, that is). is anything in this universe truly infinite? or are we all burdened by how so very finite we are, in every way...? what does infinity represent? something...

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Since we're looking at the Number Two, I have to suggest my absolute favorite number of all -- ZERO. Mathematically interesting, but profound in far more ways. Often overlooked and underappreciated, but easily one of the most important numbers of all. Have you had zero? Have you been zero? Have you felt zero? I'm gonna stop talking now before I wax poetic about zero for hours. (I think I've done this before, so I'll try to resource those records... read them if you want a better idea about how COMPLETELY BADASS zero is!)

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RE: CHAOS

a natural follow-up to our Patterns episode -- what about the things that have no pattern? the truly chaotic, the unpredictable, the volatile, the impulsive, the reckless, the crazy, the insane... chaos is something that rules our lives in an interesting way -- mathematically, physically, emotionally, etc.

some ideas on what to include:

- a conversation with a meteorologist about chaos and weather forecasting. (there's actually a whole dept of my math school specifically for Atmosphere/Ocean Science!)

- fractals!!!!!!!!!! i'm...

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(CHANNEL 4 NEWS)

REPORTER: Jimmy Lanson called into the station today to tell us he has a PARADOX to show us.

JIMMY: That's right! Come on inside.

REPORTER: So can you tell us about how you found this paradox?

JIMMY: Yes! I was walking by the lake and I stumbled upon this paradox -- it's just inside this room! Here we are.

REPORTER: What's that smell? Oh--

JIMMY: Yep, this here is Stewie and the other one's Chester.

REPORTER: Sir... these are two ducks.

JIMMY: Yes, exactly.

(it's a pair o' ducks! *ba dum chhhh*)

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there is so much beauty to behold,

and so much beauty to be held.

(something i thought while reading a math paper today. this thought partly fuels my starry-eyed love of fractals and patterns -- you can witness them on a large scale from faraway, but also hold them intimately in your hands. remarkable.)

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the pressure that comes from within

is something i could do without.
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