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(This came from an idea of Robo_J's he brought up a few weeks ago, and it’s been stewing in my mind ever since)

I was born in the gut of a factory in a haze of axle grease and sawdust. There was no pain, just a quick click, and there I was, ready to greet the world that lay on the other side of those soot-caked brownstone walls. The ceiling above me loomed like a corrugated cathedral roof, and as I passed from worker to worker my purpose became more and more clear to me. My reason for being had been engrained into my every curve and bend, every facet of my body an affirmation of my purpose. Even after I was thrust into the musty darkness of a straw-laden box, I knew exactly why I had been placed upon this earth.

When I was finally pulled from the box, I met my first friend: Beaumont Randal, an Ohio farmer without a lick of fat on him and as unsteady a gait as any a man could have. A tremor echoed throughout his entire body, I learned, and it converged in his fingers in a perpetual cacophony of spasms. But the man had a charm about him that outshone his unsteady hand, and I was always “the new over-under” throughout our thirty years together.

We used to hunt ducks together in the morning on weekends. The first time he pulled the trigger, the first time I fired, was beautiful. There was nothing surprising about it, but it stood as a burning testament to my existence and my purpose. Despite Beaumont’s twitch, that first duck was plucked from the sky and was dead before it hit the ground.

His luck faded quickly after that, but he held out a long time before he sold me. I was a...

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It's a murky maze of trees in every direction. VICTIM is on his knees. Turn to MURDERER; he's pointing a pistol at Victim's head.


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(This is a re-post, because I'm stupid)

Please don’t shit on me

I see that look you’re giving

And I don’t trust you for a hot second

Not a one

No, I don’t have any bread

To buy a...

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(Based on experiences in 3 different cities that all felt very similar)

It’s almost 5AM and the sky’s warming up

And birds are singing from telephone lines

Warbling voices ringing...

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One of life's true delights:

There are no alarm clocks in my dreams

Granted, there are numerous instances of

Untimely paralysis

Inexplicable shape-shifting

And getting lost

Along with an...

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“Please don’t go. Please?”

I turn around and Lee is standing in his star-speckled onesie, nose running, eyes bloodshot. He’s standing in the living room, half-blinded by the...

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A: I could use a new pair of shoes…look at these things.

B: Oh, I’ve got a guy for that. We’ll talk about it later, okay?

A: Yeah, yeah that’d be great.

B: Did you see the game...

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A: Alright, come over here.

B: Where?

A: Right here, where I’m standing. Hurry up!

B: What are all of these machines?

A: Counting machines.

B: What?

A: They’re counting machines. You see...

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Based on an old Japanese folk tale:

There once was a young official who lived in a simple city house with his simple, kindhearted wife. He was an ambitious type, whose dreams were...

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