casvellon's RECommendations
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"Hey, you know how you're in my house right now?" "Yeah..." "Don't be." |
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- Lessons That Lessen Us
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You tell your son that he can fly. Fasten on his bright red cape and tell him he can defy gravity; tell him that he is above all the rules. Hurl him up into the sky like a plane; faster than a speeding bullet and more powerful than a train. And you say: "All your enemies are villains, all your impulses are just, all your own beliefs are true and there's nothing you can't do (so do whatever you must) and there's nothing you can't be!"
(Except a girl. He mustn't throw like a girl or run like a girl or cry like a girl or smell like a girl or dance like a girl or think like a girl or look like a girl or sound like a girl or care like a girl. He must be a man of steel. Invulnerable.)
You tell him that he's always right, that stubborn equals strong. Tell him that he is the good guy and the others are all wrong. Tell him that girls can be victims or they can be sweet rewards; tell him that they can be monsters too and that we'll all applaud when he puts them right back in their place (a grave, a fridge, a bed). Tell him he is strong and true and brave in his bright cloak of red.
But
You tell your daughter to be good. Say her red cape needs a hood. (She should cover up her hair.) Tell her she must not defy anyone. Tell her she must keep her feet on the ground. Tell her that she must stay small; must be fragile as a poppy, must be lovely as a rose, must be pliable as willow never tread on any toes. Tell her service is a virtue (tend to granny, bake and sew); tell her HER dreams should be humble (oh the places she'll not go). Tell her she must be desirable (though that makes her a whore); tell her it will all be her fault, what the old wolf has in store. Tell her that she needs a big strong man to save her from herself, and her hymen is more precious than her heart, her mind, her health. Tell her she can not be trusted to make choices of her own, and male senators should dictate what can happen to her womb. Tell her she must be conformable, obedient and sweet; for curiosity will call up wolves and mark her as their meat.
If she steps into the forest and does not do what she's told, if she drops her red cloak on the grass and thinks she can be bold, if she leaves her hair uncovered, goes adventuring instead then tell her she had it coming when they find her hurt or dead.
Because girls cannot be heroes only victims, only fools, only prizes handed over to some prince laden with jewels.
You tell your daughter to be careful to be grateful, chaste and shy and abandon any dreams of flying up there in the sky.
(But I whisper in her ear that girls can be woodcutters, big bad wolves and witches, that girls can be princesses or scientists; that bitch is what they'll call her when she frightens them by failing to give in; that there are many different kinds of hood and curiosity's no sin; that she may be gobbled up if she ventures out alone but some wolves will wear woodcutter's clothes; she needs a sharp blade of her own.) |
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"Do you see the shiny part on the upper left side? It's so intense, it's like ... it's like this mix of blood and raspberry syrup. It's so obvious that he used less syrup in the middle, this bloody touch makes it so dark. The focus stays in the middle, it's so marvellous, I can't stop looking at it." "Are you serious?" "Oh my god and the strong line around it! What an amazing brushwork technique, do you see it? On the bottom right side, where the line gets thinner ... it's like he wanted to say that every life line has ups and downs but if you stay focused, you get over the bad moments over and over again ... wow, what an amazing piece of art." "Dude, calm down, it's only a red dot on a white sheet of paper." |
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My 2nd contribution for Bad Advice Collab, this is a remix for RosellaWeigand's bad advice: Write what you want known.


