- Last Record: 2013-05-11 00:37:34 -0700
- Joined: Mar 18, 2012
It started about a month ago as my second record on the site. It was two lines long. Then JazzSees contributed to it. Then ClintonHays contributed. Then I added some more. And now Mottelz has lent his pen to it as well. Please contribute to decide where this story goes next. The collab is here: http://www.hitrecord.org/collaborations/7037 we hope to discover the end together.
We begin our tale of woe and wonder
To flashes of lightning and rumbling thunder.
The night was ripe with terrible conjure;
Whispers of scheming and horrible plunder.
Inside an old abandoned lot,
The villains hatched their wicked plot
To sneak in, silent and unseen,
Into the palace of the king;
A scheme so evil, vile and foul,
It made them want to take a shower;
A plan so dangerous and mad,
It filled their hearts with mortal dread.
And yet, the villains trudged ahead,
Full knowing they may wind up dead.
Fate favourable to what would come
If they decided to back down.
The time was now -
And half expecting to get caught
They cast their lot
For those were no mere men,
Their souls were wrought and bought,
By a creature once described as "half argonaut"
His past and purpose shrouded in doubt
Knotted in secrets, tainted in blood..
The midnight hour struck
And, hidden in the dark,
They snuck in through a hole
Inside the castle wall...
The king had treasure beyond measure
But the most precious prize of all
The thing that brought him greatest pleasure...
You'd never guess - an old rag doll!!!
No, really! Go ahead and laugh.
After his father's tragic death
The doll was all the boy had left
(besides the kingdom and the wealth).
And every night, by candlelight,
He'd travel through a secret door,
down a winding corridor,
Through a maze of passageways,
To a secret hiding place,
down, down, down
to a chamber in the ground,
where in a vault, upon a mount,
his precious doll lay safe and sound.
The midnight hour struck.
The four men cloaked in black.
"There is not turning back.
It's time to mix the drug..."
"Bring me my clogs", the young king belched.
And immediately, the royal clogs were fetched by his loyal Page.
The young king rose from his throne, yawned.
Turned to the Page and said:
"I want to be left alone!"
Instantly, the throne room was cleared,
The entourage disappeared
Faster than an Irishman murders a pint of beer.
The young king waited for the sound of footsteps to subside
Unlocked a secret passage
And disappeared inside.
The king started a walk
like he did every night.
He trudged through the passages
Absent of light.
He strolled through the walls
Of his castle, you see,
For what the king sought wasn't found easily.
It was deep in the ground
(far below sound)
Locked in a vault
With guards yelling 'Halt'
In the depths of a lake
With a three headed snake
Under a mirror
which couldn't be clearer.
Deep in these bowls
was where he kept his teddy
his longtime companion
the immortal Freddie
Every night, there he'd go
and kiss Freddie good night.
And when he'd return
he'd know all would be right...
He waved a guard
Doors flung apart
He entered a fake boudoir
And with a show of blunt dislike
He told the guard to take a hike
After the door behind him closed
A golden mount before him rose
And on it, in a beam of light,
Sat his stuffed bundle of delight.
The toy he'd gotten from his daddy
The one, the only, best bud - Freddie.
In all known pharmacology
No substance strikes as potently
As extract from a wild rose
Boiled in sap of young primrose
It has no color
Has no odor
It readily dissolves in water
And even at the smallest dose
Makes men decisively morose
Their hearts congest
Their minds compress
A state of utter helplessness
They spend their days in listless trance
Deflated, lifeless and depressed
Defeated, desperate, possessed
Their hearts then overgrow with grass
And soon from all the extra stress
Men into vegetables regress.
And how could anyone suspect
That when, that night, the king came back
It was the last his men would see
their Liege show signs of sanity
He yawned as he approached his bed
Soft pillows wrapped his heavy head
His loyal Page blew out the light
And the young king snored in delight
While with his dreams into the night
The young king's sanity took flight
Determined never to return -
And in the kingdom's regal throne
Seeds of dementia were sown
(to be continued)
"I see things that other people don't see."
"Like the good in people?"
Look what I just got my hands on --- the very first issue of The hitRECorderly, our brand new subscription series!
"Little Red Riding Hood Redux" is our inaugural issue and I'm really proud of this gorgeous full-color book the hitRECord community and I have created together. I really love when the stuff we work on together becomes a physical record.
This book we made is based on an adaptation I did of the original Brothers Grimm fairytale (which is sexist as all fuckin hell!) Our version's got a different take on the story and we've packed this book with feminist essays and various reactions to the new tale.
I loved JulesKD's "But What If I Want To Be Eaten?" record so much I just had to do a little reading of it in this here video. :o)
You gotta hurry and order your copy as these are a limited edition run of 2,000 so get it while the getting's good!
Single copies are available in The RECord Store for $20, but you'll save cash by subscribing to The hitRECorderly and you'll get a new issue every season!
You can subscribe here: http://www.hitrecord.org/store/recorderly.html
FCP by Dr. Gory
Bloody Mary dressed in red;
haunts the inside of your mirror.
Say her name a single time,
and her shadow comes in clearer.
They call it "Falling in Love." But it never felt like that to me.
Falling sounds painful. At least when you hit bottom. I guess in that sense it makes sense. Since most love ends in...