** Just a little short film I wrote **
INT. SLEEPY SAM’S - DAY
It’s an old, simple, sickly-lit, warehouse-style showroom
with wall to wall, naked beds. Some set up to lay on, even
more stacked vertically against the wall. A few bug-like
people slowly crawl along the troughs created by the phalanx
formation of mattresses set up throughout the warehouse.
Some of these bugs find there way on top of the mattresses,
giving them the obligatory bounce. Two of these such bugs
are being escorted by a sad looking man, KEVIN, wearing a
pale yellow polo and khakis. We get the idea he works here,
begrudgingly. The WOMAN Kevin is escorting spots a bed she
likes and runs her hand across it. You get the idea that
this may be the most exciting part of this couple’s month,
though they wear it like they’re at a funeral.
What do you think, Carl? This one’s
kind of nice isn’t it?
Yeah this one kind of pops doesn’t
This is the Sleepy Sam’s Dreamer.
It has a pillow top and independent
coils to keep you from waking your
partner. It’s one of our top
Yeah that’s nice. That’s nice.
The loudest sound in this showroom is the fluorescent
lights. The Woman begins to heave herself on top of the
mattress. The plastic that covers it crinkles with her every
movement. She squirms and adjusts, making sure to test every
possible sleep position. This goes on for a while without
Yeah I like this. So this is the
Sleepy Sam’s Dreamer.
And that other one was Sam’s
The Rise and Shine.
Yeah Sam’s Shiner was just too hard
The Rise and Shine. Yes it’s
Yeah that was like a block of wood,
I don’t understand why you have to
make them so hard. I get why you
call it the Shiner, you wake up
with a good one after sleeping on
that for a night.
It’s the Rise and Shine. I don’t
make them, and there are some
people that like a firmer mattress.
What people? I don’t understand
that at all. Do you sell any of
those? Why would you have them?
Yes they sell.
Well I can’t imagine to who.
It’s silent for a while as the Kevin stares at the woman
seeming to look to him for the answers.
Well, I like soft and so does Carl.
She lays down and rubs her hands across the plastic for a
Does it come with the plastic?
Um, yes the plastic is there to
keep it clean until you bring it
home to use.
That’s kind of nice. I like the
plastic. What do you think, Carl,
you like the plastic?
It’s just for shipping that’s--
(Feeling the plastic)
Yeah it’s nice plastic.
The Shiner didn’t have plastic like
this on it.
It’s the Rise and Shine and we took
the plastic off of that one a while
Oh so it does come with plastic?
Yes. It comes with plastic, for
I like the plastic, it’ll keep all
the messes off of it.
ALL the messes... what--
If there’s a hole in the plastic
can we bring it back?
We have plenty in the back so I’ll
gladly replace it.
Can you do it for free?
Tell you what. If you get that
mattress today I’ll replace the
plastic for free for as long as you
have the mattress.
That ain’t bad, what do you think
I think that sounds nice, we’ll
(Finally it’s over!)
Great, let me get it set up for
Well, wait. Carl, didn’t Dr. Davis
say something about sleeping on a
Oh yes I seem to remember something
Do you have any firmer mattresses?
Yes, we have the Rise and Shine.
Can we see that one?
We were just--yes, yes right this
INT. SLEEPY SAM’S - LATER
KEVIN is at the cash register, filling out the sheet for his
latest sale. DEVIN, an athletic, confident a-hole comes up
behind him and gives him an unnecessarily hard slap on the
Hey Kev! Got yourself a sale there,
Yeah it’s just for--
Let me take a peep at that.
Devin snatches the sales slip from Kevin’s hand. A magazine
clipping of a scenic picture of California falls out of his
What’s this? Nudy magazine clip?
Gotta stay motivated somehow, huh?
(Snatching back the magazine
No, it’s a picture of California.
Why you got that?
I don’t know, I like it, who cares?
Buncha weirdos out there if you ask
Devin looks back to the sales slip.
See you sold the Dreamer, lowest
margin mattress we have here
but--Whoa! Where’s the warranty,
They were old and didn’t--
C’mon Kev! That’s an easy sale!
Especially on the Dreamer. What
happens if they rip that pillow
top? Did you ask them that?
They seemed like they’d take good
care of it.
They have pets?
Not that I know of.
Well these are things you need to
know, Kev. You gotta qualify your
Wanna know how many mattresses I’ve
Seven! All with the warranty. Wanna
know how I look at it?
We don’t sell mattresses here.
But it’s a mattress--
We sell warranties, that come with
mattresses. How do you think I got
that brand new Camry out there?
It’s a used Camry.
It’s new to me! And it’s a
Certified Pre-Owned, not used.
That’s the same thing--
Warranties. Sell them. You like
money don’t you? Wanna move out to
California and be a weirdo? Get
money, get paid.
That doesn’t make sense--
Devin gives Kevin another hardy slap on the back and leaves.
(Walking away toward some
Get money, get paid, selling crap
will get you laid. Here we go! Hi,
how can I help you folks today?
EXT. SLEEPY SAM’S - NIGHT
KEVIN locks the door, walking away unfulfilled.
EXT. BUS STOP - NIGHT
KEVIN is sitting at the bus stop, alone.
INT. KEVIN’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
KEVIN is brushing his teeth getting ready for bed.
Kevin is pouring tea for himself.
Kevin is at his computer, coding.
Kevin is in bed with his bedside table light on. He’s
staring at his magazine clipping of California. After a
while he puts the clipping back down and turns out the
INT. KEVIN’S APARTMENT - MORNING
An alarm goes off and KEVIN’s hand sloppily turns it off.
Kevin is fixing himself his usual coffee, two eggs and
Kevin is sitting at the table, staring out into the middle
distance consuming his everyday meal.
Kevin is brushing his teeth.
Kevin is putting on his pale yellow polo.
EXT. BUS STOP - MORNING
KEVIN is sitting at the bus stop, alone.
INT. SLEEPY SAM’S - DAY
KEVIN is handing WOMAN and CARL another plastic wrap for
their mattress and they leave, he did promise them after
all. DEVIN comes up beside KEVIN dancing a little bit.
What’s up, Kev?
(Not looking at Devin)
Guess what I’m up to?
I don’t know, Devin, what?
(Couldn’t give a shit)
Wow, Devin, that’s a lot of
No, 8, is my excitement level, 10
is the amount of mattresses I’ve
sold today. Store record!
Let me guess, all with warranty?
You bet your ass all with warranty.
Devin slaps Kevin’s ass.
I just brought your excitement from
a 2 to a 4.
Yep sure did, the roof’s about to
blow off this place.
That’s the G-D spirit, Kevin!
Devin starts to dance away.
The roof is blowing OFF this place!
Turn that music up!
The store music gets turned up a bit, there’s nothing more
underwhelming. It’s elevator music.
As Kevin is situating the cash register area, CINDY, a
beautiful 20 something walks in and up to Kevin.
Hi, do you work here?
I didn’t at first but I started
showing up here enough that they
gave me a shirt.
Kevin laughs, Cindy looks at him blankly.
Yes, yes I do.
I was wondering if you could help
If you’re having trouble sleeping,
I have some extra sheep in the
Another joke falls flat.
No, no I can sleep just fine.
Great, good to hear.
I’m moving and I need to get rid of
my mattress, I was wondering if you
guys did any kind of recycling or
donation type thing?
Oh where you moving to?
California, I just finished my
computer engineering degree and I’m
heading out there to work with a
Oh, oh wow! That’s so cool. I do a
little programming myself. Nothing
major just some little apps here
and there to pass the time.
Oh that’s great, so this isn’t your
Oh no. Well, hopefully not. I do
work here full time but I’m kind of
hoping for the same thing you’re
Oh, great. Well good luck with it.
Yeah, thanks! You too.
They stare at each other for a while.
Oh! Yes, of course sorry!
Kevin grabs a slip from under the counter.
Just fill this out and bring it
back with your mattress and we’ll
take care of it for you.
Cindy heads out the door.
And good luck again! Don’t get
stuck here forever!
You too! I mean, the good luck
part. You’ve already
escaped--you’re escaping! Ahhh some
one catch her--I’ll shut up this is
Cindy has already begun driving away. Kevin watches as she
goes. As he watches her, that glimmer of excitement peters
out and the sadness of his everyday trap washes back over.
Devin approaches from behind. Kevin doesn’t acknowledge him.
Who was that bangin’ babe, Kev? You
get her number or what? Better yet
you sell her a warranty?
Camera pushes in on Kevin’s face as Devin rambles on.
THAT’ll get you laid, man. Sell a
girl on a good mattress, tell her
the warranty will protect against
one of those springs popping loose
so when you’re railing her she
doesn’t have to worry about that
premo bed she just got. I can’t
tell you how many times I’ve gotten
laid with that pitch--
A realization sparks up in Kevin’s face.
EXT. SLEEPY SAM’S - DAY
KEVIN walks out of Sleepy Sam’s with a smile on his face. He
peels off his pale yellow polo and tosses it in the trash. A
load is visibly lifted. He takes a look in one direction,
then looks in the direction CINDY drove off in.
SMASH TO BLACK