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I've been dreaming lately

That I'm stuck inside a glass box

Under the constellations of Grand Central 

With some kind of illness on my tongue

And the people passing by are laughing

As my fingernails tear loose from their beds

And my teeth come tumbling out, like bricks from my head

The world is watching me come to pieces 

And all they want to do is laugh, laugh, laugh

"There's the dead boy now! Watch closely, my son!"

But I'm waking up before the crowd can get my name

I never want to sleep, because I miss so much of you

Your absence, my disease, is killing off the view

Of a city that held so much of my potential

Before squandering it off like a peddler 

Numbering my numerous deaths as sequential

I'm done wishing on things that only fucking run

Numbers, stars, and love, goodnight all, I'm done


I'm being picked up

By the reverse side

Of drunken gravity

And smashed back down

When her arms give out

Losing teeth on the concrete

Like piano keys spilling out

Of an old black bag

Where we used to carry our hearts

I always keep my shoes on

Just in case

We have to run from this

And head straight for the grave

Made a coffin for a bed

Buried myself inside my head

And if you hear the bell

Don't try to dig me up

This is a lesson learned by lovers

From the sugar spit spat by time

That we're nothing but mangled bodies

Who continually fail to align

But we try to keep straight

With whiskey and waxflower breath

But we're walking in circles

Because we favor one foot

Like property lines we've crossed

Rivers we can't afford to drink

We're wilting like gardens

We're ships that god can't even sink

Hallelujah, I'm born again

In the black heart of the tulips

I never bought you in the end

Bring me to the end 

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We're in a perpetual confusion of tongues

Tripping over phrases until we're raw in the lungs

Can you imagine how many times I'd be hanged

If you could understand the words I've been saying?

We've condemned honesty to make room for lidocaine

Our hearts have been removed to make clouds for more rain


I'm scattered abroad upon the face of all the earth

With a half-life of never since I survived birth

No gutters to follow away from all the lights

Where I can tap morse code into the mains and the pipes

I'm saying, "We've been lied to, I love you. I need you now."

But I don't scream for long enough for the code to be loud


Let's build a tower and call it the end

Separate at the bridge where the train tracks bend

You're living in the reflections of the glass

I'm dreaming aloud while lying on my back

I've been looking for a reason to smash every mirror

A Cassandra complex for a girl who's never near


You can't change the future, you've already trapped the past

If we're taking turns speaking in tongues, let me go last

You'll never hear a damn word I say, you'll never listen

Because you're surrounded by your demons

And I'm burning alive, just beyond your vision


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Cosmic radiation through dime-store drinking straws

Blisters on my heels that refuse to heal

A black hole aftermath when the room depressurized

All our novels falling from poorly supported shelves

Onto floors I've claimed as my own

There is no comfort for a perpetually broken boy

Like me


My broken back, your useless literature

Your discarded gifts, my dead flowers

My sandstone knuckles, your lilac candles

We're a god damn mess, and we're only getting worse


I used to live where the coyotes could get to me

And deer stopped to bow at the sight of my hands

Pulled by my hair through the muck and the mud

Until I ran towards the rising sun, towards you

I've fashioned a crown from the stems of white roses

And the pedals are all turned to rot 

What kind of king I am, sleeping on the floor

When you left the door open, it scared me like war


A mouth in the wall that's lost all but one tooth

You could turn the deadbolt, but you never do

And I constantly wonder, how much electricity I must build up

To lay down with you once, and levitate you out of your head

How much electrostatic glow I'd have to project

To keep you safe in bed



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There is no way to win through

The glass into the light beyond

Where the electricity runs with the hum of a song

That no one has sang since before we were born

While moths crawl the length of my arms

And leave prints of their wings in dust

Up and down the place on my neck

That I never want you to touch again

I wish there'd been some kind of chemical on your lips

That could have scarred me, branded my collarbones

A scarlet letter to wear for my shame

Not shame of you, but shame of me

For letting how my heart felt dictate what I believed

A tyrant inside a ribcage, just waiting to ravage the body outside

And I know that I'd destroy you if given half the chance

My hands were not meant to save anything

Not you, not anyone else

They're better off at my sides, being eaten alive by moths

An exhibit of failed intent for the crowd to laugh at

They'd call me a monster, a beast with one back

A spine that doesn't bend enough to retract

So it's become a cross with no god to make it a metaphor

I'm a shitty church that no one prays in anymore

If you fell now, you'd fall for a leper

And when you dragged me anywhere, I'd keep dropping pieces

Until there was nothing left but a trail of me 

For you to follow all the way back home

So what am I meant to love if not you?

An attic with no roof, a gathering of moths around my little light?

They've no feelings for me to hurt, hearts too simple for me to break

Just let me lead myself down into the cellar with no floor

And fall into the abyss, where Virgil waits whistling 

Even if sometimes you lay awake at night

And think that maybe all this drivel is just what you needed

To keep the wolves from the door

But it's not, it's just the blood soaking the lawn

Let the moths come, let them gnaw at my nail beds

If it meant I couldn't ruin your life any more

Than the ones who came before

And left the window open 

When they vanished

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As always, download for Hi-Res.

Bored at work and have always wondered what a visual representation of this would look like, so...

A not so informative, and oddly confusing infographic of the 2014 Resident Curators.

Please feel free to message me if I messed something up.



P.S. If this seems rough, it's because I never intended to release it, actually. But it turned out okay enough that I said "Ah. Fuck it."

P.P.S I was informed that I accidentally spelled MarieIv's name with an L instead of an I. That's my bad. 

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Film: Red Wires

Released: December, 1988

The sophomore effort of Canadian-born director Tomas Ellis-Warsburg, Red Wires was released in select theaters throughout Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, and British Columbia. The screenplay, written by Kentucky playwright Thistle Wickens, was originally intended for off-broadway theatrical release, but was never recognized as a particularly "stage-worthy" piece. Red Wires is the tale of Tommy, a young boy, and his twin sister Hilda, who search the five boroughs of New York looking for their father, who mysteriously disappears after developing a cure for Bowen's Disease (A rare skin disorder). The journey is only decided upon after Tommy and Hilda discover a secret room in their father's apartment which houses evidence of a conspiracy to thwart his medical efforts.

Although claimed by some critics to be "Lackluster" and "An egotistical, pedantic romp through New York City", the film generally received positive reviews. The most confusing, and somewhat genius, aspect of this film is that it was written by an American, filmed in New York City, but only released to Canadian audiences in select theaters across Canada. The true glory of Red Wires is seen in the outstanding performance by Japanese actress Aiko Ishiguro (Ellis-Warsburg's adopted sister) who plays the ironically named "Aiko", a geisha with (the aforementioned) Bowen's Disease. 

Dense, sometimes confusing, and intentionally dry, Red Wires wins through with its unflinching attention to realism, its showcase of breakout performances, and its several cleverly encoded references to Homer's The Odyssey. Red Wires is a stand-up film that is normally forgotten when discussing Canadian cinema, but it will never truly disappear from the selection of Ellis-Warsburg's greatest works. 

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If I stopped to turn my head, I'd see a road full of crooked crosses.

Knocked down by the wind, the weather.

And I wonder if this is what everyone has been seeing.

This amalgamation of faith lost by something not of man.

We are set to conquer the world seven times over.

And yet we're afraid to tell one another how heavy are our hearts.

I could take all of my fury and bring this city to the ground.

But I couldn't take your hand for more than a moment without shaking.

And I could die knowing that you were here and alive, and die happy.

Our parents are meant to leave us at some point.

We're born to be abandoned, but not before we learn to love.

So we can repeat the cycle, and tell our children how it was. 

Before storms gathered up and ripped at our skin.

Before someone left you alone with your bed and your limbs.

It's how I fear I'll become, if you ever let me try.

I fear that I'm imagining that I'd give you the entirety of the sky.

Maybe I'm weaker than I once thought possible.

And you'd be left once again to fend for yourself.

In the space where ghosts roam restless and alone.

The silhouettes of every man who'd loved you and gone home.

Without the slightest thought that it would break you.

Turn your heart to stained glass.

Pieces that will no longer fit together, but refuse to mend and pass.

I am the giant that wanders in the ocean.

I am the ladders down to hell.

Climb the knives up my spine, meet the bats and the ring the bell.

There's only the words that I've written here to guide me.

There's only the crowd of moments I'll hold in my heart.

You're in them all, you're the centerpiece, you're my art.

And I'll kill anyone who ever hurts you.

Destroy every cross that forces you to carry it.

I'll make a bonfire of them all.

And we'll dance like savages until the cold and the fall.

When we'll go inside and rest and give in.

And those silhouettes, those ghosts, will be gone.

We'll have cast them away, we'll dream before dawn. 

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A chorus of beartraps

Set to

Take the skin

Right off my feet


But this body, these bones

Have left me no place else to go

My body, my bones

Are cared for with little hope


A choir of canaries

Left to

Sing that hope

Right out of my heart


But this body, these bones

Can't hear love in your tone

Your body, your bones

Can't tender these river stones


A band of thieves

Trying to

Steal the gold

From your empty veins


But this body, these bones

Are trying to wrap around yours

My body, my fragile bones

Felt this as love, not chore


A museum of pockets

Asking for

The coin with the saint

To bring me back home


But this body, these bones

Aren't mine, they are loaned

Your body, your bones

A love I want, a love I never owned


Those bodies, those bones

I am a ghost, one of many clones

Your body, your bones

Bones that will kill me once another man owns


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Where the bolts meet the casing

I am riddled with mycotoxins

Black mold built up between my teeth

A hollowed shadow of whomever used to be me

Lilting back and forth like a drunkard

A voice so rough as to strip the screws 


My body is an ocean, my organs are the ships

Left to capsize inside the maelstrom of my blood

Vessels on fire being sucked into the waves

There are no men aboard, no women and children

Just empty cabins, lifeboats still lashed to port

Is there anything more pathetic, than a ship without a name?


You were the wind that moved this mechanical mass

East and up and out towards the sea

But I'm not sure anymore what fuels the fires

Or whether or not I should eat

Trying to convince myself that you love you, not me

Should be reason enough for me to leave

But I'm not guided by reason, I am a machine


I am a mechanized man with little originality

A failed experiment in trying to stay alive

When all I have is an empty birdcage

A pile of feathers and vacant eyes

Maybe I've put too much weight into this

Perhaps I've fallen in love one too many times


I'm waging a chemical war with myself

The black residue of lewisite under my fingernails

The cyclosarin breath behind failed attempts to impress

Someone who's better built for better men

And all I want is to be split back into pieces

Rended of all my limbs and buried in different fields


I am saddened by a path that's without a start

To convince a girl in yellow to wind my music box heart


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It's hard to believe

That we

Become nothing but 

A pile of bones beneath

All our loves and our dreams

Of staying in bed

With someone we held

For the long hours before

The sun ever tried to interrupt

A perfect blue before the light

In a tiny room

I've never tried to stand in

But found myself locked inside

Even when I'm breathing


And if we could live forever

I don't think I'd want to

Because knowing

We'll one day be parted

Makes the kiss you gave me

More than just the meeting of skin

But a declaration

That you'd waste your little time

Searching with your lips, to find mine

Even if it was empty

A gesture of dark, cheap wine

It wasn't poison, nor divine

Because I had you for a moment

Ones we're constantly losing to fate

That's enough to give me purpose

And grace

If I tried to live forever

And we stood close for all time

Ten minutes would seem like dust

Birds without the wings to climb

I'd rather chase you for my life and fail

Than spend eternity in your bed

And watch the seeds we've sewn grow stale 


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I. Rattlesnakes

I was given warning, but I never truly cared

About the holes in my ankle that were never really there

So I bled into the sand and I fell asleep standing up

Like prophets and martyrs, there's blood in your cup

But it's tainted by venom, it's rattled by faith

Let it drip from your chin if you'll ever be changed

Push your fangs through cotton paper

And push your jaw against glass

There's a thousand wells to taint

But there's always fires in the pass


II. Death Adders

I'm a cannibal but only by trade

If I have to destroy myself to let you be saved

So many times I've led you into rhymes

Only to wrap around your legs with so many vines

Before you realize that you shouldn't stand here

I'll only poison you if you decide to come near


III. Pit Vipers

If there's a god in a heaven, somewhere up there

Show me a sign that I'm meant to be alive

Or pull the fangs from earth, pull the rain from the sky

Am I supposed to believe in fate?

Is there something killing us for a reason?

Let my feet find the soft spots in the slate

The muscles tense before the skin fades to black

Trying to force me to dream before the light comes back


IV. Inland Taipans

Yield enough venom to kill a thousand men

But give that dose in one passing kiss

Retract your jaw to make it look like you missed

I've got less than an hour before my limbs start to bend


V. Belcher

Ripples in the water that move like a dress

Pushed by wind before the tide goes to rest

You'll come back to find that your friends got me first

One dozen caverns I've churned in the dirt

Graves I dug for former selves that didn't work

When you return, you'll find twelve holes

For twelve bodies of men, who only gave you their soul






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A bandsaw for a bed, a lathe for a lover.

Her kisses are wounds that I can't afford to cover.

Through the wood-chipper feet first and out into the world.

A mist of the man I used to be, disassembled and unfurled.

What the hell am I supposed to do now?

Now that your absence has sectioned off my loneliness.

Wrapping the pieces up with wax paper and twine.

Head down to the butcher's block where you play tiny strings.

The first thing you'll take is the tongue from my head.

You're afraid of the things I could say to turn you.

Each syllable is, in itself, the thread I need to rebuild.

To sew up all these missing pieces into something resembling myself.

A rough marionette you can dance around.

While I stand on my soapbox and speak of love.

As if it were a small bird that took away with the wind.

And never returned to the perch it had called home.

It's that absence now that leads me to drain and depart.

To unwrap my skeleton's frame and lay my parts down to rest.

For when you return, over the dark grey of the water.

You'll find I've left nothing behind.

Nothing but wax paper and a silhouette of my name.

Glory be to the partitions in my heart, in my veins. 



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