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A place to put this big pile of poetry. 


I've been dreaming lately

That I'm stuck inside a glass box

Under the constellations of Grand Central 

With some kind of illness on my tongue

And the people passing by are laughing

As my fingernails tear loose from their beds

And my teeth come tumbling out, like bricks from my head

The world is watching me come to pieces 

And all they want to do is laugh, laugh, laugh

"There's the dead boy now! Watch closely, my son!"

But I'm waking up before the crowd can get my name

I never want to sleep, because I miss so much of you

Your absence, my disease, is killing off the view

Of a city that held so much of my potential

Before squandering it off like a peddler 

Numbering my numerous deaths as sequential

I'm done wishing on things that only fucking run

Numbers, stars, and love, goodnight all, I'm done

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I'm being picked up

By the reverse side

Of drunken gravity

And smashed back down

When her arms give out

Losing teeth on the concrete

Like piano keys spilling out

Of an old black bag

Where we used to carry our hearts

I always keep my shoes on

Just in case

We have to run from this

And head straight for the grave

Made a coffin for a bed

Buried myself inside my head

And if you hear the bell

Don't try to dig me up

This is a lesson learned by lovers

From the sugar spit spat by time

That we're nothing but mangled bodies

Who continually fail to align

But we try to keep straight

With whiskey and waxflower breath

But we're walking in circles

Because we favor one foot

Like property lines we've crossed

Rivers we can't afford to drink

We're wilting like gardens

We're ships that god can't even sink

Hallelujah, I'm born again

In the black heart of the tulips

I never bought you in the end

Bring me to the end 

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We're in a perpetual confusion of tongues

Tripping over phrases until we're raw in the lungs

Can you imagine how many times I'd be hanged

If you could understand the words I've been saying?

We've condemned honesty to make room for lidocaine

Our hearts have been removed to make clouds for more rain


I'm scattered abroad upon the face of all the earth

With a half-life of never since I survived birth

No gutters to follow away from all the lights

Where I can tap morse code into the mains and the pipes

I'm saying, "We've been lied to, I love you. I need you now."

But I don't scream for long enough for the code to be loud


Let's build a tower and call it the end

Separate at the bridge where the train tracks bend

You're living in the reflections of the glass

I'm dreaming aloud while lying on my back

I've been looking for a reason to smash every mirror

A Cassandra complex for a girl who's never near


You can't change the future, you've already trapped the past

If we're taking turns speaking in tongues, let me go last

You'll never hear a damn word I say, you'll never listen

Because you're surrounded by your demons

And I'm burning alive, just beyond your vision


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Cosmic radiation through dime-store drinking straws

Blisters on my heels that refuse to heal

A black hole aftermath when the room depressurized

All our novels falling from poorly supported shelves

Onto floors I've claimed as my own

There is no comfort for a perpetually broken boy

Like me


My broken back, your useless literature

Your discarded gifts, my dead flowers

My sandstone knuckles, your lilac candles

We're a god damn mess, and we're only getting worse


I used to live where the coyotes could get to me

And deer stopped to bow at the sight of my hands

Pulled by my hair through the muck and the mud

Until I ran towards the rising sun, towards you

I've fashioned a crown from the stems of white roses

And the pedals are all turned to rot 

What kind of king I am, sleeping on the floor

When you left the door open, it scared me like war


A mouth in the wall that's lost all but one tooth

You could turn the deadbolt, but you never do

And I constantly wonder, how much electricity I must build up

To lay down with you once, and levitate you out of your head

How much electrostatic glow I'd have to project

To keep you safe in bed



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There is no way to win through

The glass into the light beyond

Where the electricity runs with the hum of a song

That no one has sang since before we were born

While moths crawl the length of my arms

And leave prints of their wings in dust

Up and down the place on my neck

That I never want you to touch again

I wish there'd been some kind of chemical on your lips

That could have scarred me, branded my collarbones

A scarlet letter to wear for my shame

Not shame of you, but shame of me

For letting how my heart felt dictate what I believed

A tyrant inside a ribcage, just waiting to ravage the body outside

And I know that I'd destroy you if given half the chance

My hands were not meant to save anything

Not you, not anyone else

They're better off at my sides, being eaten alive by moths

An exhibit of failed intent for the crowd to laugh at

They'd call me a monster, a beast with one back

A spine that doesn't bend enough to retract

So it's become a cross with no god to make it a metaphor

I'm a shitty church that no one prays in anymore

If you fell now, you'd fall for a leper

And when you dragged me anywhere, I'd keep dropping pieces

Until there was nothing left but a trail of me 

For you to follow all the way back home

So what am I meant to love if not you?

An attic with no roof, a gathering of moths around my little light?

They've no feelings for me to hurt, hearts too simple for me to break

Just let me lead myself down into the cellar with no floor

And fall into the abyss, where Virgil waits whistling 

Even if sometimes you lay awake at night

And think that maybe all this drivel is just what you needed

To keep the wolves from the door

But it's not, it's just the blood soaking the lawn

Let the moths come, let them gnaw at my nail beds

If it meant I couldn't ruin your life any more

Than the ones who came before

And left the window open 

When they vanished

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If I stopped to turn my head, I'd see a road full of crooked crosses.

Knocked down by the wind, the weather.

And I wonder if this is what everyone has been seeing.

This amalgamation of faith lost by something not of man.

We are set to conquer the world seven times over.

And yet we're afraid to tell one another how heavy are our hearts.

I could take all of my fury and bring this city to the ground.

But I couldn't take your hand for more than a moment without shaking.

And I could die knowing that you were here and alive, and die happy.

Our parents are meant to leave us at some point.

We're born to be abandoned, but not before we learn to love.

So we can repeat the cycle, and tell our children how it was. 

Before storms gathered up and ripped at our skin.

Before someone left you alone with your bed and your limbs.

It's how I fear I'll become, if you ever let me try.

I fear that I'm imagining that I'd give you the entirety of the sky.

Maybe I'm weaker than I once thought possible.

And you'd be left once again to fend for yourself.

In the space where ghosts roam restless and alone.

The silhouettes of every man who'd loved you and gone home.

Without the slightest thought that it would break you.

Turn your heart to stained glass.

Pieces that will no longer fit together, but refuse to mend and pass.

I am the giant that wanders in the ocean.

I am the ladders down to hell.

Climb the knives up my spine, meet the bats and the ring the bell.

There's only the words that I've written here to guide me.

There's only the crowd of moments I'll hold in my heart.

You're in them all, you're the centerpiece, you're my art.

And I'll kill anyone who ever hurts you.

Destroy every cross that forces you to carry it.

I'll make a bonfire of them all.

And we'll dance like savages until the cold and the fall.

When we'll go inside and rest and give in.

And those silhouettes, those ghosts, will be gone.

We'll have cast them away, we'll dream before dawn. 

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