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BUS FARE


BY


MIKE LARSON


Hey buddy, could you spare some change for the bus?


Sorry man, I don't have any cash on me.


Listen man, this is what's going down. I've got a knife and I'm gonna hurt you if you don't give me your wallet.


I don't have it asshole.


What's that?


Listen. If you want my wallet you'd better start running that way because the guy who just robbed me has got a head start.


Hold on. What?


I'm not saying it again.


Do you mean to tell me you just got robbed?


Yeah, just about three blocks ago off nicollet. Sonofabitch.


Dang man, that sucks.


You're telling me.


Yeah. Wow. That's really too bad. I'm sorry.


Oh, no it's not your fault. Really, I should have been prepared. Normally I carry lots of cash.


Seriously? Get outta... jeez, man.


Yeah. you know five mintes earlier and that money would've been yours?


Oh man wow. Really? You know, my bus was five minutes late on my way over this way? I'm gonna complain.


You really should. It's highway robbery that we pay to be late.


You're telling me.


Yeah... As for me I'm stranded. No money to get home.


Can't you walk? Could someone come get you?


Unfortunately no. I live forty minutes away.


Oh man, that's no good.


No it is not... Ok so this is a bit of an awkward situation here but ah, I don't suppose you could spare some change for the bus?


Well certainly! How much do you need?


THE END


As far as collaboration goes, I would like to see someone make this into a comic or perhaps a short film?  I'm interested to see what could come from this.  It might need expanding but I think the shortness of it is nice and less expensive to produce later on.  Thanks for reading!

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FAKE HISTORY: CREATION


by 


Mike Larson


WARNING: THIS IS A JOKE AND COMPLETELY FICTIONAL.  PLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS TOO SERIOUSLY.  I DO NOT WISH TO OFFEND ANYONE BUT SIMPLY TO MAKE LIGHT OF THE BIG QUESTION. WHY ARE WE HERE?  IF YOU ARE VERY RELIGIOUS I WOULD SUGGEST SKIPPING THIS ONE.


 


God just sat there.  Super bored.  I'm mean come on.  There was absolutely nothing to do and it was very lonesome.  It was also very depressing and he decided to end it all, and so he did.  He blew himself up.  It was a pretty BIG BANG.


Billions of pieces of God went shooting off in space and most of them landed on Earth, the nearest planet at the time.  Being immortal, the pieces were able to remain stable in the given atmosphere and eventually through EVOLUTION, they adopted themselves to the atmosphere and could no longer travel back into space to be reconnected to the parts still lingering in space.  


The pieces of God that remained in space started to reconnect and once more God was able to regain consciousness.  The cells in space had become accustomed to the conditions in space and would not be stable on earth.  With his consciousness regained, God realized that he could not take his own life and was stuck in space forever but still with his mighty power.  


He could not contact the other pieces of himself but he still had some sway over them and still remembered how to do some of his old magic tricks that his grandpa taught him.  Mainly card tricks and slight of hand but also something about creating light and animals and stuff.  Seemed boring but since he couldn't be killed he figured he might as well doing something with his time.  It was going to be a long eternity as it was.  


So it took him about a week but he figured it out and decorated the world where the other pieces of him lived.  He was super exhausted after that week, I mean really just tuckered out.  Eventually he came up with a plan to control and connect to the other pieces of himself.  


He created man and attached the pieces of himself to them.  A part of him would be inside of every man on Earth.  Man was boring and dumb so he created women.  It seemed like a good idea at the time.  They are very pleasan to look at and talk to. (Between you and me, we are equally as flawed but afraid to admit).  


However they had to eat and eat they did.  A certain piece of God had planted itself in the ground and became a tree that would make you aware of stuff if you ate it.  God didn't really care if they ate from it but totally messed with them and told them not to.  He knew they had to or they wouldn't survive. Lord knows he wasn't gonna help out.


But what he hadn't planned on was what would happen when the two became aware of certain aspects of...hmm lets call it, uh, Life.  They found each other super attractive and found that when they pressed their bodies together it felt really cool.  They took it a little far and ended up with a kid.  


God was not pleased.  He hates kids, I mean jeez, will they ever shut up?  Hey dad! Hey dad! Look! You're not looking! Seriously... no wonder he didn't step in when his own kid got killed.  So he kicked them out of his little hangout and we've been on our own ever since.  


The confusing part is that since we all have a piece of God inside of us, we totally think he's out there watching over us and boy the problems it's caused.  Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to be here and I've seen some good come out what's left of him but this is what parents mean when they say don't get a pet unless you're going to take care of them.  If you don't, the pets will shit all over the house and who wants to clean that up?  Not me.

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I can hear their marriage through the walls, every night.

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Life is a dance.  


She was my song.

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Priorities


(Tiny story, Dialogue Tale)


Inner Monologue


by


Mike Larson


 


Hm. Tickets or Groceries?


Well, let's think about it. How often do you eat?


I'd say decently often I guess.


And how often are they in town?


Oh not at all really. It's been years.


Well.


Yeah, I see. 


Good. 


Food.


What?


I will see you next month.


Sweet.


God damnit.


This is awesome.


 


Priorities.

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I thought making art out of my own struggles was funny since it was absolutely capturing the whole "starving artist" thing because I was so hungry for a couple of days this week.  Anyway I like the way this turned out.

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The Street Where I Live


 


That's at least how my eyes experience it.


 

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This is the view from my screenwriting classroom window.  So many possibilities.  I'm also always glad to see this when coming home from a road trip.

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I see this all the time and it reminds me of mr. smith goes to washington.

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I'm a haunted mansion and you're the ghost who lives inside.

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For love that lasts through all seasons.


 


I did everything you hear.  I programmed the drums using hydrogen for windows.  The guitar is two parts recorded twice and put into each side of the headphones.  Vocals are doubled harmonies near the center of the pan.  Blu USB microphone in audacity for vocal recording.


I'd certainly like to hear it get remixed somehow.  Even if just a literal mastering or proper mixing. It's a .wav file.  


This song started a very happy relationship and I hope it can go somewhere.

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