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- I even have a great catchphrase…..Feel The Burn! Feel The Burn! Get it?


- Yes, I do. I just don’t know if setting people and buildings on fire is as beneficial as you claim. In fact, it can be rather quite expensive.


- Really?


- Oh, yeah. I hire you…..there goes people’s insurance rates. And then we’ll have a lot of angry people on our cases. And I’m not just talking about evildoers. Everyone will be upset. Trust me. It’s a headache and a half.


- What if I only set the bad guys on fire?


- Well, even if you don’t intentionally set a building on fire, there’s still the risk that a place could go up in smoke with the victims. Fire spreads, y’know.


- Huh. I never thought of it that way before.


- I know. That’s why I wear the big boy cape around here.

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“Aren’t you supposed to be at work by now?”


“Yes, but it might be awkward to show up for a job I no longer have.”


“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”


“It’s okay. Fired? Me? Can you believe it?”


“What happened?”


“I told my boss that I’m fed up with everything he’s been doing. All the changes and pay cuts he’s made. All the shorter lunch breaks. Stuff that he should’ve left alone. I yelled at him for four minutes straight. The entire office stopped working and heard the whole thing.”

“Good for you. I’m glad you were brave enough to voice your opinions.”


“Thanks. Thinking back, I probably shouldn’t have gotten so irate.”


“Sometimes fury kicks in with passion.”


“But I think I was being a tad unreasonable and went too far.”


“No way. You have every right to speak your mind. It’s unfair that he fired you for standing up for yourself and everyone else working there.”


“You’re right. Though, stapling his hands to the desk and sticking his tie in the paper shredder probably didn’t help the situation.”


“…”

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Happy Independence Day!!!!


My town put on a fireworks display last night.  And what's really awesome is that some of the fireworks actually look like RECord buttons (how cool is that!?).  They played music during the show, so I can't post the footage with the actual audio of fireworks going off (sorry). But instead of having you sit through "silent" fireworks, I'd thought I'd add a little something to entertain BOTH your eyes & ears. Enjoy & have a HAPPY 4th of JULY!!!!

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EXT. WOODS - CAMP SITE - NIGHT


Boy Scouts and some of their fathers are gathered around a roaring campfire. They’re eating roasted marshmallows and charcoal black hot dogs. The boys are laughing and goofing off. The adults are trying to get the kids to settle down. MAJOR BOONE, the Scoutmaster of the troop, pulls out a guitar from behind him and begins strumming. Everyone slowly quiets down.


MAJOR BOONE
(sings)
Now, listen all you gentle lads
As I tell you quite a tale
Of mystery and mayhem
And terror, as well
There’s an old legend
That has been told
As the years have come to pass
So listen close and settle in
And sit up on your--


MR. TYLERS
--Hey! Watch it, Major!


MAJOR BOONE
(continues strumming)
Along time ago
1300 years to be exact
A man lost what little mind he had
And went on a rampageous attack
After the townspeople
Laughed at him
And cast him out
Because he didn’t fit in
He hunted each one down
And burned off all of their skin
He didn’t get away
He turned himself in
And they strung him up
And snapped his neck
And then burned his very flesh
Even though the man is gone
His soul still remains
And it returns every odd numbered year
To haunt the same place
And take the lives of those
Who get in its way
Don’t be surprised to see him come tonight
For this site is the very spot
They left the monster to rot
And Mr. Hook Hands will want
To have his revenge


MR. KEMP
Wow! That….Was…A…Long…Song.


OWEN
That was dumb!


MR. KEMP
Owen!


OWEN
Well, it was, Dad….It didn’t even make sense.


MAJOR BOONE
Things that are true often don’t.


JIMMY
Why was his name Mr. Hook Hands?


MAJOR BOONE
Because….he had hooks for hands.


OWEN
After they killed him he got hooks?


MAJOR BOONE
No. It was the reason why he was cast out in the first place. He had hooks for hands. They thought he looked strange.


JULIAN
But you never mentioned that. You just said that he didn’t fit in.


MAJOR BOONE
The hook hands were implied first, then revealed at the end of the tale.


OWEN
Did you make this up?


MAJOR BOONE
No! It’s a real legend! I might have rearranged some of the lyrics and made more of the words rhyme, but the story is essentially the same as its always been generation to generation.


PAUL, one of the Boy Scouts, enters. He looks spooked.


MR. KEMP
Welcome back to the group, Paul.


OWEN
You just missed the Major telling us one of his lame ghost stories.


Paul remains still.


MR. KEMP
Paul? Where’s the firewood?


MR. TYLERS
And where’s Mr. Cutter?


PAUL
(stuttering)
I-I-I-It…..It g-g-got him.


MAJOR BOONE
(alarmed)
What did, boy? What got him?


PAUL
(stuttering)
The the the…..The…B-B-Bear.


Everyone breathes a little sigh of relief.


MAJOR BOONE
Oh, Paul. That’s impossible. There aren’t any bears in this part of the woods. And there hasn’t been for over 100 years.


MR. KEMP
(sarcastically)
Yeah. No bears. Just murderous men with hook hands.


MR. TYLERS
So where is Mr. Cutter?


PAUL
I’m telling you! The bear got him and ran off with his body!


MAJOR BOONE
And I’m telling you that is highly unlikely!


The Major and his troops continue to argue over the bear.


[CAMERA slowly ZOOMS OUT all the way to a set of trees where TWO GHOSTS are watching the scouts]


GHOST 1
This could go on forever. Can’t we just go scare them now?


GHOST 2
Not yet. We need to strike at just the right moment.


GHOST 1
You don’t think the kid is right about what he saw, do you?


GHOST 2
What? The bear? Didn’t you hear what the guitar player said? There hasn’t been a bear sighting in over 100 years.


GHOST 1
Yeah, but it still makes you wonder like…..what if?


A pine cone CRUNCHES nearby from behind.


GHOST 1 (CONT’D)
(panic)
What was that?


BOTH GHOSTS exchange horrified glances. The sound of HEAVY BREATHING and SNARLING causes them to shake. They slowly turn around and find themselves face-to-face with a GRIZZLY BEAR. The Grizzly Bear ROARS.


BOTH GHOSTS
Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh….


CUT TO - CAMP SITE


Everyone is stuck in silence, staring towards the direction of the ROAR followed by bone-chilling screams.


CUT TO - GHOST’S HIDEAWAY


The Ghosts are embracing.


BOTH GHOSTS
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh…


The Grizzly Bear removes his head, revealing GHOST 3 dressed up in a costume.


GHOST 3
(laughing)
Oh, man. You guys are too easy.


GHOST 2
Ha-ha. Good one. Where’d ya get the costume?


GHOST 3
Oh, I have all kinds of junk like this back at my place just for the occasion of scaring away happy campers.


From this distance, we can see the Scouts and their leaders scrambling around, trying to pack everything up.


GHOST 1
(to Ghost 2)
Right moment?


GHOST 2
Right moment.
(to Ghost 3)
Hey, do you happen to have a set of hooks back at your place?


GHOST 3
Of course. Why? What do you need them for?


GHOST 2
Oh nothing, really……I just want to help bring a little ol’ legend to life.
(smiles)


FADE OUT


FADE IN


EXT. WOODS - CAMP SITE - NIGHT


Everyone is running around screaming and trying to get away from a floating shirt with hooks (Ghost 1).


FADE OUT


THE END


 

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