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Crack and Field

Peers: "Wow, look at Robbie go!"

Narrator: Robbie's peers at school say he runs like lightning.

Robbie: "Hey what are you guys doing with those funny-looking pipes?"

Narrator: But then Robbie trades his baton for a crack pipe.

Grandma: "Robbie! Are you a homicidal maniac?"

Robbie: "No grandma, I'm a junkie hooked on crack cocaine! Now shut up and give me all of your money!"

Narrator: His school chums thought he'd be a winner at the State Finals.

Robbie: "My lungs are on fire!"

Narrator: How could they know his whole life was running IN A DEAD HEAT???

School Chum: "Robbie's not a trackhead, he's a crackhead!"

Narrator: CRACK AND FIELD!

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