WEBSITE: http://www.youtube....
LOCATION: —
RECORDS: 11
LATEST RECORD: 1 year ago
JOINED: July 24, 2010
LOCATION: —
RECORDS: 11
LATEST RECORD: 1 year ago
JOINED: July 24, 2010
All NamqOh's RECords
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Went to the optometrist office recently and realized everyone who worked there wore glasses. I know it might seem good to have someone who wears glasses to prescribe and treat others who need them....but I also think it'd be better if someone with perfect vision would help those who don't have it... |
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I've always wanted to order half a pie from Domino's and half a pie from Pizza Hut and have them come to my house at the same time...I keep imagining the two delivery men fighting it out in my front lawn over who delivers the pizza...while I'm inside watching...and eating Papa John's. |
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Stubbing your toe against furniture is like them saying...yeah...we're still here |
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This was my first and really only standup routine I've ever done. It was a blast and I really loved it, and I hope you guys do to =)
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‘Your typical Manhattan Cab Ride’ Character List: John: Outgoing guy. Early 30’s Father Jacob: Very Stern Guy. Takes no sarcasm, and is very straightforward. Taxicab Driver: Oblivious cab driver Old Guy: Very loud man (New Yorker accent) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ John quickly rushes into the taxicab John: Whew! Finally got a cab. Taxi Cab Driver: Where to boss? John: 34th and 4th please. Taxi Cab Driver: Alrighty sir (continues driving). ‘Camera moves so that it’s facing the driver’s face, while keeping John in the background/Make sure the surprise passenger behind the cab driver cannot be seen’ ‘John fiddles around with his pockets looking for his phone’ ‘Taxi Driver whistles the Office theme song; make it awkward’ Taxi Cab Driver: So what’s going on over there? John: Oh going to a strip club with some buddies. Ahh gonna be a good time…Man they got some nice broads over there… (as he’s saying it he looks to his left and sees someone sitting next to him) John (continues): Oh Father Jacob! Surprised to see you here…didn’t know New York did joint cab rides. ‘Awkward moment…cab driver stops whistling’ Father Jacob: ‘sigh’ So John. Haven’t seen you in church for a while… John: ‘very nervous’ Well…umm…you see Father Jacob: Too busy hitting the “clubs?” (doing the finger quotes) (laughs a bit) John: Oh that…I’m not going into the club…see…I’m…you know…picking up my…. sister…yeah picking up my sister so we can go to a…to a…. Haiti… charity fund down in the Village. Exactly. (very nervous, very sweaty) Taxi Cab Driver: So your sister is a stripper? Is her stripper name Thumper? “ Father Jacob looks at John “ John: No no no no…it’s that..ummm…She’s not a stipper…I said strip club..because that’s where I was going to pick her up…you know like…because she’s not a stripper named…Humper (Taxi Cab driver corrects him: Thumper) yeah that too….(looks around awkwardly/Reverend keeps a straight face and raises his eyebrows) Ahhhh shoot… I got to go…stop here. Taxi Cab Driver: Stop here? You sure boss? John: YES I’M SURE. THIS IS MY STOP ANYWAYS ‘Taxi cab screetches to a stop’ “ John jumps out of the car and lands on his stomach in a puddle “ “ An old guy walking down the street sees John on the floor and yell “ Old Guy: ‘Ey Johnny boy! Hittin up the strip club again? Hahah You just can’t stop can ya? John: You got to be kidding me ‘John looks back at the cab, and through the window Father Jacob pops his head out’ Father Jacob: See you at confession. P.S. Romantic Comedy sounds good, Comedy is my forte =) |
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Hey I remember you saying you were interested in maybe making a drawing or animation for the picture. I made a little rough draft of a sketch that could go along with the picture. This is just the beginning third or half of the full product, but it gives you a good idea for what I'm going for. Hope you like it =) The Three Semi-Wise Men Setting: Animated/Cartoon Universe, takes place a year after the BP Oil Spill Main Characters: - Tony Hayward (Middle Person) - Rich Green (Left Person) - William Von Livingstonworthington - THE PEOPLE (Represented by the TV) BACKGROUND: It’s been a year after the BP Oil Spill and the people of Louisiana are suing BP on the grounds of “bullshit promises and forgetting to clean up after oneself.” The story starts when the BP CEO, Tony Hayward, and his two top men make their way to the Courthouse. The three businessmen decide to take their giant silver yacht to the port of New Orleans. Tony Hayward: Gentlemen, do not fear these people. They have nothing against us remember. We just spilled a bit of oil and we’re still working on it. Stand your ground. Rich Green: You thought I was worried? HAHAHA Oh my Master Hayward. I’ve seen scarier things the last time I went to a 4 star hotel in London. ALL THREE OFFICIALS: HAHAHAHAHAHA William Von: These Americans really don’t know when to give up. We said we were going to clean up the spill. That is more than what we can do for them, is it not? Tony Hayward: Exactly my point Sir William! Do they expect us to actually clean it up? Oh god no!!! Maybe in a couple of years we’ll get the maids to clean it up for us. Am I right gentlemen? Rich/William: HAHAHAHA Very true sir. ‘The yacht takes a sudden stop in the middle of its voyage’ Tony Hayward: What the devil just happened? Yacht Driver: Master Hayward. It seems as though we’re stuck. Tony Hayward: Stuck? How? This is water. Yacht Driver: Well you see sir. You ordered me to drive to the port of New Orleans. That’s where the oil spill happened. Look at the water around us. ‘The three men peer over the side of the yacht to see a sea of black, oily, murky water.’ Tony Hayward: Ah well this spill isn’t as bad as I thought ‘As he says that, in the background the skeleton of a giant whale floats to the top of the ocean’ Tony Hayward: Let us take the golden mini yachts to our destination. ‘The three men proceed and make their way to the port where they are greeted by an angry crowd’ Rich Green: Sir, they seem very angry. It’s been a year; I thought they would forget about the spill. Tony Hayward: Oh pish posh, this is how Americans greet visitors. Crazy Fat Guy: CLEAN THIS SHIT UP! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? YOU STANKY RICH ASSHOLES. William: Excuse me sir. That is no way to speak to your wealthy superiors. Crazy Fat Guy: Oh. You’re the wealthy superiors? Well then…let’s show the world how wealthy you are. You know what? Let’s make sure you’re wealth makes you stand out. BOBBY! ‘Bobby comes in with a giant bucket of green paint and dumps it on each of the businessmen’ ‘The three are covered and now have green skin’ ‘The mob erupts in laughter and cheer for the embarrassment of the British businessmen.” |
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I was just wondering what everyone was interested in writing. Maybe it'd be a good idea for you guys to just put in some sample stuff you wrote before, then we could all get a feel for how we all write...and maybe get inspired =) I wrote a little gag called... ‘Your typical Manhattan Cab Ride’ it's already posted on hitRECORD |
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‘Your typical Manhattan Cab Ride’ Character List: John: Outgoing guy. Early 30’s Father Jacob: Very Stern Guy. Takes no sarcasm, and is very straightforward. Taxicab Driver: Oblivious cab driver Old Guy: Very loud man (New Yorker accent) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ John quickly rushes into the taxicab John: Whew! Finally got a cab. Taxi Cab Driver: Where to boss? John: 34th and 4th please. Taxi Cab Driver: Alrighty sir (continues driving). ‘Camera moves so that it’s facing the driver’s face, while keeping John in the background/Make sure the surprise passenger behind the cab driver cannot be seen’ ‘John fiddles around with his pockets looking for his phone’ ‘Taxi Driver whistles the Office theme song; make it awkward’ Taxi Cab Driver: So what’s going on over there? John: Oh going to a strip club with some buddies. Ahh gonna be a good time…Man they got some nice broads over there… (as he’s saying it he looks to his left and sees someone sitting next to him) John (continues): Oh Father Jacob! Surprised to see you here…didn’t know New York did joint cab rides. ‘Awkward moment…cab driver stops whistling’ Father Jacob: ‘sigh’ So John. Haven’t seen you in church for a while… John: ‘very nervous’ Well…umm…you see Father Jacob: Too busy hitting the “clubs?” (doing the finger quotes) (laughs a bit) John: Oh that…I’m not going into the club…see…I’m…you know…picking up my…. sister…yeah picking up my sister so we can go to a…to a…. Haiti… charity fund down in the Village. Exactly. (very nervous, very sweaty) Taxi Cab Driver: So your sister is a stripper? Is her stripper name Thumper? “ Father Jacob looks at John “ John: No no no no…it’s that..ummm…She’s not a stipper…I said strip club..because that’s where I was going to pick her up…you know like…because she’s not a stripper named…Humper (Taxi Cab driver corrects him: Thumper) yeah that too….(looks around awkwardly/Reverend keeps a straight face and raises his eyebrows) Ahhhh shoot… I got to go…stop here. Taxi Cab Driver: Stop here? You sure boss? John: YES I’M SURE. THIS IS MY STOP ANYWAYS ‘Taxi cab screetches to a stop’ “ John jumps out of the car and lands on his stomach in a puddle “ “ An old guy walking down the street sees John on the floor and yell “ Old Guy: ‘Ey Johnny boy! Hittin up the strip club again? Hahah You just can’t stop can ya? John: You got to be kidding me ‘John looks back at the cab, and through the window Father Jacob pops his head out’ Father Jacob: See you at confession. |
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