My chest holding back
my leaping heart,
My breath climbing over
the tops of the charts.
The anticipation of the waiting and
The wondering if...
Am I in this alone?
The uncertainty of the
A "Wish me luck!" and an
A doubt in my mind that
this is worthwhile,
Or questioning the value of just
knowing your smile.
A Brief Introduction to S.P.R
It has recently been brought to my attention that an epidemic of stupidity is sweeping our nation. 9 out of 10 people will be affected by stupidity in their lifetime. In a premptive effort to protect the dwindling population of smart people I have established a system for identifying the stupid. The use of S.P.R (Stupid People Radar) isn't merely a groundbreaking technique I have been practicing for decades, it is a highly regarded guide to survival. While SPR does not ward off stupid people, it does lend you the ability to recognize stupidity in it's most basic of forms. In this chapter we will be focusing on the characteristics of stupid people that you will be able to identify after adopting the S.P.R technique.
*Caution: The following information contains mind blowing properties.
10.) Stupid people don't know they are stupid. They usually think they are smart. And they want you to know. You just want them to shut up.
9.) Stupid people have a tendency to spread their stupidity. They surround themselves with other stupid people, creating a mob of insanity. When so many stupid people combine their forces they have the power to take down smart people. This is why often times we see one smart person struggling to break free of the grasp of stupidity. It is often best to let other smart people take one for the team when you see a stupidity mob approaching. Actually, it's always best... save yourself.
8.) Stupid people think you are stupid when you don't understand the stupid things they are saying. Then they think you are stupid when they don't understand the smart things you have to say about their stupid things. This is annoying because it is all so stupid.
7.) Stupid people make stuff up. They think they can get away with it because they are stupid. Most often the things stupid people make up are... well, stupid....
6.) Stupid people generally have annoying laughs. Laughing stupid people are the worst, this means they are happy and you are pissed because they are so freaking annoying.
* Happy Stupid People = Angry Smart People
This is dangerous because angry smart people can be very dangerous when in the presence of stupid people... Somebody could get stabbed... just sayin....
5.) Stupid people complain about things that are neither real nor relevant. See Chapter 12 for further explanation.
4.) Stupid people believe anything. They will not only believe your lies, they will spread them. Unfortunately smart people haven't taken full advantage of this and the only lies being spread are the stupid ones.
3.) Stupid people try to inform you, then come to realize they have no real information to share. This is when we see stupid people make things up (See #7 for clarification). Rather than allow themselves to feel stupid for lacking things to share, a stupid person would rather misinform you. This is stupid.
2.) Stupid people don't know how to use their words. Often times grunts are accompanied by random hand gestures in a fatal attempt at communication. When this fails, random words are strung together in a senseless jumble of confusion. It is always best to look a stupid person in the eyes when this happens, you will see their frustration building and have double confirmation of stupidity.
1.) Stupid people will never fully realize the full extent of their stupidity. This is a sad reality we have to live with.
I am from...
Halfway finished innings.
Solid family ties,
Sunny, southern skies.
Never ending nights,
Highly anticipated flights.
I don't cares.
Neglected swing sets,
I'll never forgets.
Bonfires after dark,
After hours in the park.
Eggs sunny style,
Mother's loving smile.
Broken viola strings,
Plastic diamond rings.
Half baked schemes,
For anyone else the silence would have been deadly. The stillness in the air was suffocating enough as it was. The young man set aside his battered notebook, careful not to cause further damage to the beaten cover and wrinkled pages. Looking mournfully towards the window he hesitated and moved further into the safety of the shadows. He resisted the urge to use the last of his remaining strength to shimmy the decaying window shut. One could not be too careful these days. Warm air drifted into the house and he could taste the bitter, metallic scent it carried with it. It hadn’t rained yet, but he felt certain it would happen within a matter of minutes. Solemn shadows danced across the empty walls and as well kept as the house was it was difficult for the young man to imagine anyone calling this place home. Empty frames and dust were the only occupants aside from the small family of mice enduring his company. When he had first arrived they scattered and crept among the shadows, distrustful of every movement he had made. Over the course of a few days they built a sort of tolerance for the young man’s behavior and reluctantly allowed that tolerance to grow into an offbeat companionship. The young man felt a certain amount of affection for the mice and allowed them a wide berth.
His exchanges with the nearby citizens on the other hand had felt forced and mechanic. Small pleasantries had been exchanged upon his arrival, but the tension in the air continued to hang like a brick wall between them throughout his entire stay. He hadn’t drawn too much attention to himself yet, but it would be a tragedy if he did.
He thought of Sadie now. He closed his eyes and there she stood in the center of the road casting a thoughtful gaze towards the sky. Her long sapphire hair cascaded in a curtain across her bare speckled shoulders. It had been a long time since he recalled the pang of regret he felt walking away. The loneliness had been a kind of disease, spreading and helping itself to all areas of his world. The sadness washed over him for a moment until he pushed it aside denying it of a rare chance to take hold and shatter his resistance. There was no time for this.
He let the urgency of his task step in and force away all other concerns. He welcomed the comfort of following orders. He’d have to start packing, it wouldn’t take long. He glanced around the room at his scattered belongings and remembered the days when he had too many possessions to shove into a single, beaten duffel bag. He didn’t miss them. He’d leave now, less opportunity to let fear change his mind. He slipped into his worn street shoes and was careful to double knot them before continuing to pack. He’d be traveling underground where he was certain he wouldn’t be seen, much less followed but he knew better than to be careless. He would have to push himself and move fast.
I've been working on this story for a while now, and I wanted to introduce this character into the mix but I've decided he doesn't really fit. So, I would really like it if he could have his own.
Some of you are probably curious about how I would handle myself if I were found face to face with Keanu Reeves, most of you probably aren't curious at all. I'm just remarkably bored today so yea...
Keanu: Hi! Would you like my autograph?
Me: Oh God, please tell me this is a nightmare...
Keanu: Umm... I'm not sure I follow you, maybe you meant to say dream?
Me: No, most definitely meant to say nightmare. Or horror film, as long as you're cast as the ax murderer. But we all know that's a stretch.
Keanu: Do you have any idea who you're talking to??! I'm Keanu Reeves!!
Me: That's unfortunate.
(Party Rock Anthem begins blaring from an unknown source and we have a dance party)
Me: Wow, who knew Keanu had moves?
Keanu: Keanu knew...
Me: I think we'll get along just fine...
A large red button caught her attention. She decided to press it.
As she did she held her breath and a shiver of anticipation skated down her spine. She drove her finger into the button and suddenly the world went dark. All was silent except for the continuous drumming of her heartbeat, roaring in her ears.