walking through the old town
listening to abba.
the bullet ridden shops that once thrived before the invasion
now survive on a few old dutiful customers that still like getting their shoes shined
and a sprinkling of students that come to take photos of
the kitschy 80’s fashion that adorns the front windows.
it would be a very depressing walk
if i wasn’t listening to abba.
a small girl in a dirty disney t-shirt jumps out of a shop.
she has a gun.
she point’s the gun at me.
i raise my arms.
‘oh no, please don’t shoot me.’
the girl shows no mercy and pulls the trigger.
a sticky yellow price tag spits out of the barrel.
i clutch my heart.
more rounds are fired; 60cent price tags are dropping to the floor.
i decide to go all out.
i fall to the ground theatrically and yell
“WHYY?? THOU MAY HAVE WON THIS BATTLE BUT AT WHAT PRICE??
60 CENTS TO SHUFFLE OFF THIS MORTAL CO-
BAM BAM! she interrupts with more shots! now also yelling BAM over each round.
i can’t even have my profound moment now?
what more does this girl want from me??
i’m sorry i refuse to embarrass myself further. civilians are watching.
you just got greedy, kid -
i will endure no more of this.
i squintedly look up at her and slowly rise.
that’s right.. i faked the whole thing, kid. I’m actually wearing a bullet proof vest
made of the strongest metal on earth. it cannot be penetrated.
the girl fires off a few more rounds but now somewhat deflatedly.
i can see it in her eyes, she knows.
i’m not going down.
she slowly turns the gun on herself and stares down the barrel.
this kid is crazy.
she adjusts the side of the gun. new ammo - 80 CENTS!!
she fires a single shot.
she takes the bullet from the gun
and sticks it to her nose.
she growls at me showing all her teeth
and then runs back into the shop.
an admission of defeat if ever i saw one.
i skip my ipod forward to “the winner takes it all”
and march on
based on my experience a few years ago near the green line of a divided city.
other than a slightly exaggerated death sequence, this is pretty much how it went down.