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"So remember how I was saying it's been awhile since I had any crazy dreams to interpret?"


"Yeah but can't we just talk about the weather or I'd rather you shut up so I can stare at this episode of Friends in a comatose"


"No seriously, listen I was in my apartment and I came out of my bedroom suddenly there's a spider web in my kitchen with ladybugs all over dipping in and out like water, then I thought where's the spider? and out from the dark corner of the web grows this huge spider and it crawls down to me and turns in to a filthy smelly pee soaken baby."


"That's intense and gross"


"yeah"


"I think it means your a big cry baby and you need a bath"


"No I think it means I need a hysterectomy or something horrible will come out of my womb"


"Like a baby spider!"


"No more like a Spiderbaby!"


The two women shudder


 


 

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"They took everything, there's blood its running down my head!!!!!!"


"Felisha wow slow down?"


" I need you do pick me up at 70 South and Brookway St."


"Okay I'll be there in 10 minutes"


"What happened?"


"I was out on a call, the girl at the call center that Bitch!!! she setup the whole thing up. It was supposed to be a little extra on the side of the Happy Ending as usual. She wanted more."


"You're still doing that?"


"Yeah I needed the money, listen I have to find them."


"Find who"


"The bitch at the center and the guy she sent to take the money and beat my face in, there's so much blood my ribs fucking hurt."


"Lets call the cops and take you to the hospital."


"No we can't what I did was illegal, the money isn't clean money they stole from me. Are you almost here, oh god! it's so painful,(grabbing her ribs) she was envious of all the extra money I've been bringing in."


"I see you, holy shit"


Putting down there phones, Felisha passes out in her friends arms.


 


 

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The enviroment is similar to a model home or model apartment. The Agent walks in looking perfectly attractive sits at the desk the couple sitting across look nervous. 


Agent- Looks like you had chosen one of the longest leases available at the time we were given new regulations and we can extend it for another two years,  otherwise I believe services have been rendered this relationship has come to the end you will both leave tonight and begin your mourning period after that we can arrange a new relationship. You may not keep in contact.


The Man - Well I put down on the survey I wanted to extend the lease, I thought we both agreed. (Looking over confused)


The Woman-This isnt really the time.


The Man- How is this not the time? This the only time we have left


The Woman- Lets not be dramatic plus I'm so sick of you yelling at me when I drive I can't stand being the a car with you.


The Man-  You're a Bad driver!!! 


The Woman -Fuck you!!


The Man - I love you. 


 


 


 

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I'm a romantic person but I also believe that long term and monogamous relationships are sometimes a little unnatural this is a fake survey in a fake future if we all decided that for a FACT relationships with individuals were only Leases and they had to end PERMANENTLY what rating would you give your current Lover to be former Lover.These are not serious questions by the way and feel free to add more silly questions. When I say permanently I mean there's no calling ex's and getting back together it's illegal.


 With that being said I approve of my current monogamous relationship thus far but again not easy.


RELATIONSHIP SERVICE SURVEY


SCALE 1-10


 



  1. How would you rate your last companions morning breath 1being sweet- 10 being hazardous?

  2. Did this last companion fill your daily void of life with constant happiness?rate and explain.

  3. Would you lease a companion from this service again? explain

  4. How often did you make fabulous love within a week? Rate and explain

  5. Did you equally share the dishwashing? Rate

  6. How supportive was your companion when you were bitching about work? rate and explain

  7. Please list in order from biggest to smallest damage you caused during the lease that you are responsible for.


 


 


 

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I was hoping it would download the right way.


I had a lot of fun didn't really introduce myself to any of the HitRECorders I recognized definitley not the place to be shy! Next time.


 

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Camping, that's where I liked to do my gazing, if there's any element born to be watched it was fire. It wasn't just the dancing but the constant change and when the wind blew how it would grow and you'd watch and wonder if everything was really under your control.


No one would irresponsibly release the fire but I secretly wished and not in a menacing way but curiously sit around and watch. I would wait then right when it's gets to be too much I  step back and stop feeding the fire even then I watch in hope that it continues the worst part of camping is when the fire dies out but then again it was never hard to restart.

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"So it's a new year and I have 5 days I can take off for vacation what days should we plan on taking off?"


"umm sometime in the spring I would say we can work on the date as we get closer."


"Well what if someone takes the days we want off we should plan now!"


"I can't just set a date we don't know what's going to happen from now till then."


"Can you name a month?"


"April"


"So close to your birthday?"


"No late in April."


" Okay now pick a week!"


"No!!!"


"Why not!"


"Because I don't know if we'll be together that long!!! That's why! Are you happy now?"


"So when are you planning on breaking up with me?"


"l'm not sure maybe we can plan that later, right now we have a movie to go to."


"We aren't breaking up are we?"


"No"


"We aren't really going on vacation this year are we?"


"Let's plan on not planning."


 


 

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If all that's left of us is a passing thought let me cross your mind


when the wind blows in the fall 


as you hear the sea but you're no where near an ocean.


I'd like to come by when you're having a dream


just as long as you know it's me.


 


 

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"I didn't need a reason to fall in love nor did I go looking when it was lost."


"What are you talking about can you help me find the eyeliner and stop talking about yourself?"


"I was talking about the eyeliner it's gone and you won't find it"


"umm it was just here get up it's probably under your ass, stop stealing my stuff we're adults now!"


"I don't have it and you're embarrassing me."


"no one is here but us!"


"I'm still incredibly embarrassed and you have crazy eyes."


"That's because I have no Eyeliner on!!"


 

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What an ugly thing to utter


even in a promise


I can say it while I judge


Malevolently for  a little fun


But Karma sees us all as one.


I'll try not to hold a grudge.


 


 


 

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Two coworkers are having a chat by the fax and printing area walking back to their Cell Blocks, both happen to be Latino. Woman in her late 20's and a male in his late 40's


"Good morning Senorita."


"Oh hey I'd like to be called Senora if you don't mind"


"Well that's a title you earn."


"Excuse me, I've lived on my own for a while now and raise two boys."


After saying this she immediatley gets angrier realizes that she knows alot of women that don't have kids that she would catagorize as Senora and not Senorita. He's trying to put me in a place he thinks I belong to some far away place where women go to be divided into.   


"Yes you see I'm a Senor"


"What makes you a SENOR, what did you earn?"


"I asked you first hey.."


"How about you just call me by my name."


 

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"I love you"


"How?"


"Religiously"


"Sounds dangerous"


"It is.."


"Well then I love you too.. but just today."


 

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