"I was all happy and normal until the first cat came to live with me and ruined my life forever."
"How will Jon Smith deal with his new situation? Can he overcome his depression and start anew? Can he solve his problems and mend his relationship with Suzie? Tune in tomorrow and find out! 'Jon Smith - the average life of the average guy' starts again tomorrow, 7am. Same station, all new average stories."
The Narrator takes off his headset and picks up his pens and notebook to put them back into his briefcase. He never writes anything down, no notes, no additions, but he has to keep his hands occupied during work - at least to take his mind off what he's actually doing.
The Jon Smith show started broadcasting when Jonathan R. Smith turned 22, right after he graduated college and was as lost in life as ever. Everyday from 7am to 11pm (3am on Saturdays), people could watch him live his everyday life, more average than anybody's. No one was actually surprised by how many people watched the show. The critics never contemplated the nature of the show, though they always complained about Jon's life. Can't he live more excitingly? Nobody's life is that ordinary.
After 15 seasons, the Narrator was getting weary. He used to love his job. Doing voice over was a dream come true. Who gets paid for talking? Well, actually quite a few people do… But not all talking is the same, do you know what I mean? He went to work every morning, picked up his scripts and his coffee, sat down to the microphone and started talking. After about 16 hours of work, he'd come back home to his beautiful wife, have a dinner, hang out… As ordinary as good old Jon Smith.
After a few years, though, he started hating it. Narrating someone else's life for living. Talking about doing things he wasn't doing because he was talking about doing them.
On October 30, he came back home around midnight as usual, kissed his wife, who waited for him each and every night.
- How was your day, sweetie? - she asks as usual. - Good, it was good… - What is it, honey? Did something happen? - Well… yeah… The writers say they are going to make Jon kill himself in the next week. - Oh, god! That's awful! - Yeah, I know… - How are we going to pay the mortgage now?!
Worried, they sit down on the sofa, hold hands and look at the opposite wall.
- There'll be another job. Don't worry, I'm sure we'll manage somehow, - says the Narrator gently kissing his wife on the cheek. - There are many more Jon Smiths out there.
They were new in town and knew no one but each other. So they decided it would be best to split up and meet other people.
- Well, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that… You know, nowadays, everyone has to be extra careful about privacy.
- What are those?
- What are they for?
- So that I won't lose my face.
- You could?
- Not anymore.
- How can someone lose their face?
- You'll see when you're older.
- Maybe I should sew my face on too.
- Not yet. It's too early.
- Why are you alone?
- I lost my parents.
- Where did you last see them?
- In the kitchen. You see, that's where I usually keep them. Today I woke up and they weren't there anymore.
- But it's afternoon now.
- Maybe you should check again.
- Maybe I should.