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FHALL Released Jan 06, 2013

“What’s it like? Being you, I mean. What’s it…like?”


“What’s it like being me?”


“I don’t quite understand the question.”

“Don’t you?”



“Well, how could I possibly answer a question like that?”

“It was meant for you. Not for me to assess. Just, for you. (Pause) I have a knife, you know.”

“I didn’t, no.”

“You didn’t know?”



“I do. Yeah. I do, actually. I have it, in my left pocket. It’s a penknife. Swiss army.”

“Is it really?”

“Really. It is.”


“Can I see it?”

“You can, yeah.”

(Produces it. They stare at one another. A few seconds. It’s put away. Long Pause.)


“That’s quite a blade, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. It really is. Gosh, what an astute observation. Elongated wouldn’t you say? The blade, it’s elongated. You can’t imagine it being very useful when thrashed at someone, if its sole aim was to create a gash on someone’s arm, I mean. But it if was thrust upon someone, if you wanted to take out his or her eye, puncture the heart then…yeah…that’d do quite a lot of damage wouldn’t it? And you know all about damages now, don’t you.(Silence) Do you read the papers?” 

“Some of them.”

“Which ones are they then?”

“The ones I like. The ones that entertain me.”

“Entertain you?”


Long Pause

“And why do you like them?”  

“(laughing) Because they like me, I suppose.”

“(laughing) What a funny comment. (Pause) Come on, they don’t just like you now, do they. Fucking love you, they do. Shower you in praises, your biggest fans.”


“They’re…nice to me, yeah.”

“They are. Very.(Silence) Do you know who I am? You haven’t asked me yet. You haven’t asked me a thing, actually. Do you?...

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FHALL Dec 30, 2012

“Did you know? You can study Modern History now”

“Yeah. My friend’s daughter does it. Up in Manchester.”

“Don’t you think that’s slightly idiotic?”

“Modern History?”


“Not really,...

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“How do you feel?”

“Good. A little nervous granted.”

“Of course.”

“But good. Yeah. I feel ready.”

“That’s great. Honestly. I’m so happy to hear that.”

“I just…”


“No it…it doesn’t...

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"You should stop smoking you know."

"Nah. No need for that."

"It’s probably one of the worst things you can do to your body."

"I could think of worse."

"It’s probably one of the worst...
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