“I’m thinking about taking up smoking.”

“You? Why?”

“Because I can never figure out what to do with my hands.”

“You had an asthma attack on the 7^th day of Hanukkah.”

“Wax fumes.”

“On the 5^th night, too, I think.”

“Dust from the menorah.”

“The 4^th of July….”

“Sparklers.  These are cigarettes, entirely different.”

“You’re too concerned with your hands.”

“I have wandering hand syndrome.”

“Which is not a real thing.”

“If legs can be restless, my hands can wander.”

“I don’t think it works that way…”

“I slapped someone yesterday, a complete stranger, unintentionally.”

“And smoking will fix this?”

“Joe Camel never slapped anyone.”

“He was a camel as fictional as your diagnoses.”

“I might take up the harmonica instead.”

“You loiter too much.”