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Salmon Monday (screenplay)
tori Released Oct 01, 2012


 An ALARM CLOCK goes off. We see a montage of a man, GRAHAM, getting up & excitedly going about his morning routine as he gets ready & goes to work. 


                                           GRAHAM (V.O.)

                     Do you ever feel like a salmon? Wait, hear me out. 

                     So, there are all these fish: trout, cod, haddock,

                     rainbow trout - - uh, what were the ones in Finding

                     Nemo? Anyway, there's all these fish just going with

                     the flow, making their way sensibly down the river.

                     Then there's you, the stubborn little salmon forcing

                     your way upstream against the current, like an idiot.

                     Mondays make me feel like a salmon. Fridays too, but

                     mostly Mondays. On Mondays I'm a happy go lucky

                     salmon, and by the weekend I'm not usually feeling

                     so upbeat anymore. Perhaps it's all that swimming. 




GRAHAM arrives at work. Head up, he strides past a bunch of people who look miserable at a slow pace. He greets the receptionist, MARGARET. She has a mountain of coffee cups already forming at the corner of her desk.



                     Morning, Margaret! Lovely day, isn't it?


Margaret just looks at him sourly as he walks past. He goes up in the lift to his floor and sits down in his cubicle. The office is drab, his colleagues all look grey and beleaguered. He looks across to the adjacent empty cubicle and audibly takes a deep breath. He looks at the clock, then his watch, then the clock again.


                                          POLLY (Off-screen)

                                              Good morning!


POLLY is standing at the entrance to his cubicle.



                     Hey Polly! How was your weekend?



                     Quiet, but that's the way I like it. How about you?



                     Same. Pretty quiet in all. Thanks for asking.


Polly sits down at her cubicle across from his. He leans over towards her.




                     Polly? Do you ever feel like a salmon?


Polly laughs and copies him in leaning back.




                                  A salmon? Like the fish?



                                          (laughing too)

                              Yeah, like the fish. Hear me out…


Their boss, CLIVE, appears and stands between them facing GRAHAM. They both lean back again into their cubicles.



                     You two! If I have to discipline you for talking again, I'll do it.

                     And it won't just be a rap on the knuckles this time. It's 9:05

                     and you haven't even got your computers on yet. Polly, for god's

                     sake, you've still got your coat on. Get to work!


They both face forward and turn on their computers. Clive wanders off. The just audible sounds of him telling off someone else can be heard in the background.






He looks up & across to her.



                               How did you know?



                               How did I know what?


Polly unzips her coat quickly to reveal she's wearing a salmon pink jumper with sequins on it.



                     That I feel like a salmon! It was the first thing 

                     I thought when I put this on this morning!


Graham tries not to laugh out loud. Polly pulls the collar over her mouth and let's out a quiet laugh into the inside of her jumper.


                                          CLIVE (Off screen)

                                          I can still hear you.


They stop laughing instantly and face their computers again.




 Graham is at the front of the room giving a presentation to a group of people all sat around a table in the middle of the room. At the back of the room, there is a large window.



                     …So, as you can see, figures suggest we really

                     need to tighten our belts this month or… or...


Graham loses his train of thought as he sees Polly animatedly pretending to swim past the window with her salmon pink jumper on.




Polly and Graham are sat on the grass with their packed lunches.



                                          It is.



                                          It isn't.



                            It is. Highly offensive. I'm offended.



                            But you're not a tuna, you're a salmon.



                            Us sea creatures have to stick together.


Graham takes an exaggerated big bite of his tuna sandwich.




                     But he was so young! Cut down in his prime!


She points emphatically at the sandwich. Everyone in the park is staring at them. Graham takes another bite of his sandwich.



                                     (To Graham)

                     Alright. I didn't like him much anyway. If

                     I'm honest, I always thought he was a bit fishy.


Graham groans. They grin at each other and continue eating. 




Graham and Polly are sitting at their cubicles again.



                 Oh, Polly? I've got this letter to post but I'm not sure if

                 I've got the correct postage. Do you have any scales

                 I could - - Oh, wait, stupid question.


Polly sticks her tongue out at him & shimmies so the sequins on her jumper twinkle under the lights.



                            First class or second class?



                                          No class.








The office is quiet. Graham turns off his monitor while Polly is zipping up her coat.



                                  See you tomorrow?



                                  See you tomorrow.



                           Same time, different jumper!


Polly leaves. Graham smiles to himself and picks up his coat and bag.




Graham walks out of the office building just as Polly is getting into the passenger seat of a car. Her husband is driving. They hug and kiss and he drives off. Polly spots Graham and gives him a wave. He waves back and his shoulders slump once the car has driven off around a corner.

He begins the walk home. He passes a large group of people all heading into a restaurant. They all walk around him and he struggles to keep out of their way as he walks in the opposite direction. He looks back at them briefly and sombrely before continuing his walk home.





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