Saturday is the day I’m meant to actually accomplish things towards life: work on my thesis, write new grad school applications, work on the manuscript I’ve been “working on” since May, do homework. Given that it is universally acknowledged that none of those things will happen, Saturday is the day I’m meant to open my fridge and cook everything that’s about to go bad.

The past few weeks, there hasn’t been anything. I’m on a tight budget, so that is actually the goal. Consume everything you buy; don’t let anything go to waste. Cooking it all actually fits into this plan, theoretically. But that’s where it falls apart – where theory meets practice.

Generally these things go into some kind of stew, soup, or sauce. Then they’re frozen because I have other food for the week, and there will be times when I won’t want to cook. I probably have at least one thing left per month for the past year. Clearly, I have failed.

This week won’t be adding to that failure. The only food left was four sad, sad bananas. So I decided to make chocolate chip banana bread. My apparent inability to add fractions like a normal person means that, instead of one loaf, I made 2 loaves and 12 muffins. Some will be frozen because there is just one of me to eat them, but I think that these will eventually emerge. Maybe. I hope.