Me
by tori
Released
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I think how you put on a duvet cover says a lot about you. I mean, first up you have the bolshy types who turn it inside out & pull it over their head, before grabbing the duvet and turning the cover back the right way round. They’re the not-afraid-to-get-their-hands-dirty folk who don't fear going head first into a situation, quite literally in these circumstances. Thinking outside the box while inside the covers. Creative problem-solvers. And, well, then you have the people who just crawl right on inside to get the job done and I’m pretty sure that has disasterous consequences most of the time - worst case scenario is suffocating for the clumsiest (and I’m sure it’s happened) - though I must say I admire their gumption.  


On the opposite end of the spectrum, you have the people who shuffle it in a little at a time, feeding it in a bit then shuffling, feeding, shuffling more, all the while wriggling it around a bit to get it just into the right place. Cautious types. Methodical. They probably write to-do lists and never go overdrawn. And they also probably get all snarky at the unruly no-holds-barred just-shove-it-in-and-button-it-up people. Not really my kind of folk either. The do first and think later types. They’re the ones who phone into work on Monday mornings with hangovers. Plus, people who don’t understand the luxury of a well-made bed baffle me senseless. 


As for me, I’m a four corners kind of girl. What that means is I wrangle in just enough duvet to reach the four corners of the cover, then I hold onto them for dear life and shake shake shake until all the rest of the duvet gets straightened out. And I suppose that shows that I like to get the very important stuff sorted and in position, then create a bit of chaos and watch the rest fall into place. It’s fool proof, works every time. Unless you’re a little too vigorous on your shaking, of course, and that’s when corners get dropped and you have to drag it all out & start again. And sometimes once you’ve shaken the duvet, you realise you had the duvet twisted in the middle all along. And you have to pull apart the poppers again and switch around the bottom two corners. Or, worse, you then twist the bottom corners the wrong way again getting a double twist and then you have to re-configure for a second time. And, well, sometimes you just have to sit down on your half-made bed, blow your matted hair out of your hot red-cheeked face and call a friend to come and help. Cause sometimes you've just got to have a friend on standby when you’re doing the important things in life, like making sure your duvet cover goes on in just the right way.

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