- Chicago, IL
- Last Record: 2013-06-17 14:16:29 -0400
- Joined: Jul 27, 2010
When I first saw this, the word was cut off in the thumb nail and I thought it said Resent. Which is sort of interesting because I never really realized they were only one letter away. So it got me thinking of how they were related.
How many of us resent the present? Not in the sense of a gift (although we may resent those too) but the present as in the now. How many of us spend our time reminiscing for the past or wishing for the future. Wishing to be older, wishing to be younger, wishing to move, to meet "the one" or go back to the one that got away, to go back to college or high school, to graduate, to make plans.
It's not easy and I'm terrible about living in the present. It's not that my life is that bad, it's just that I'm always looking forward. It makes me feel in control, I guess, to plan and make to-do lists and get things prepared. The idea of just living in the present is a little scary, to be honest. It means that I may not know what's going to happen next, that I may not be able to control it. And when unplanned things happen in my life, it throws me way off. I can't plan for deaths or illness or losing jobs. And I hate it.
So I guess I do spend some time resenting the present. Resenting the fact that it may present me with an unexpected "present." Resenting the unexpected. Trying to control the present and the future as much as humanly possible. Cuz if I can control it, I can mold it to the way I want.
And that's 10 minutes