Bing.com has a program which predicts, with notable accuracy, whether or not plane ticket prices will go up or down. Yet another amazing feat of the all-powerful Internet.

I wish Bing.com had a soul predictor app. Like if you could type in how you’re feeling right now, and what your circumstances are, and how goes your soul right this minute, and at what point in the future you would like a prediction as to how your soul will be feeling, Bing could generate some kind of a graph which predicts, “80% accurate that you’ll feel more confident, less anxious and happier by August 20^th. Tip: Wait.”