I no longer feel I need to be apologetic about who I used to be

I may be more flawed and scarred but I am also more free

These mistakes were all mine to make and I won't turn these secrets into lies

Because I still am here today while you are ready to say goodbye

I sit on your old brown couch by your bed,waiting for you to draw your last breath

You're mostly asleep,but sometimes you suddenly open your eyes

and in them I see the dreams I had to sell and believe me,that is fine

I forgive you for harsh words spoken because I never was who you needed me to be

I can understand that longing,I often had the same dream

I'm watching the snails cross your terrace while I'm waiting another day again

to make it more bearable I pretend they slowdance to the rhythm of your oxygen tank

I'm counting the cars that pass by your house and every blue one grants me a wish

I've read your 35 get well cards sent by people who still believe in foolishness

Your curtains have faded and the 5th step of your staircase has a heartshaped stain

Your plants are wilting but you refuse to let me water them so all I can do is sit and wait again

And while you sleep away most of your remaining days

I quietly dream of getting off this couch and finding a means of escape