I twist the little band on my finger around and around.. still not believing that this could be real. You grab my hand and pull me through the crowds. I breathe deep.. taking in the smell of your cologne and the sticky sweet cotton candy scent that surrounds us. Life moves slowly and I want it to move slower still...despite the heat, despite the anxious people milling about running errands on this midsummer day.. despite the stubbed toes.. and the angry glances from the people who misunderstand my ear to ear grin. I want this moment to never end.

Today we married. Today we became man and wife. Today we joined hands and I cried tears of joy all over my bright Jcrew sundress.. you with your blue shirt, the sleeves rolled up.. holding onto me.. holding me up... smiling at my tears and surprised at your own.

But, "today" was yesterday and now we are happier apart. It's a new summer and a new year and a brand new reason to smile. It isn't because of a man or a relationship, but because I finally understand the deeper meaning of my life and have found that key to a door I've never been able to open.. until now. The sun is bright and hot.. the water is fast and cool. I'm cooler still. I open my arms and tilt my head back, drinking in the fresh Oregon air.. the light hot on my face.

Today I am free.