Everything seems safe and wonderful in the beginning. Like sparks of embers are merely just fodder for a a cozy room, and gas is only made for cooking and blood can be mended by any bandage. But things they fester and they eat away at you and you can’t sit and think about the way they once were because they are that not that thing anymore. And when I loved you, you seemed innocent and free and the world had possibilities and I could dance on clouds that I thought could hold me instead of send me spinning to the cold ground, rough, dirty patches of reality and splintering fantasy. And your eyes had a spark just like those embers and who knew that they would make a fire that could burn down a house. And who knew that your love could burn me inside and leave me feeling hollow, gutted waiting for someone to rebuild me. You killed me and every last fiber of me and what I believed in and you hated yourself and I hated you. What is that I want out of things when I’ve perfectly planned out life and it’s many adventures. I need a plan and you told me that plans were silly and surprises were the thing and spontaniety.  But you asshole took that to mean that you would break me and I wouldn’t see it coming. Yes I’m hurt and yes I want nothing more but to put myself in a box and fade from the sunlight. But you know you just aren’t worth me wrecking my own life, why don’t I punish you with how happy I am and how much you never meant to me. But if you meant nothing to me then how would I ever know how to open my heart in the first place. And if I never knew what a moment of happiness was how could I differentiate one from a continual line of mundane moments and sadness that this life is so prone to giving us. We walked together and just like the sky before sunset we were those brilliant colors before the inevitable darkness and you won’t be leaving my mind in any way before I can say to myself I’m okay and everything will be as it is because I have no time machine.  You are everything to me in a long faded while ago, and now I go on to other futures.