it is beginning to get dark.it will take 2 hours more.

even then if i went outside i would find light in the air.

but i am inside and i have been all day .

I am sitting by a window which is open a crack and

i can feel the cooling air on my arm.

The last hours of Tuesday trying to touch me.The outside winding it's way to me.

'i knew you were here ' it seems to say.

' and you knew i was outside why did you not

come out to me?How could you ignore me like that?

I burned a sun in the sky for you and

painted the heavens with a million cloud stories.

But you would not come out.

I swayed the trees and put songs in the mouths of birds

for you. I sprinkled rain drops to cool you and tickle you.

i sent a wind, you could have blown bubbles.

Why just look out at me like that?

i know you wanted me - you couldn't pass a

window without looking out at me.

You heard the cat I sent to call at your door.

You admired the perfume of cut grass that

i willed through your walls. I think that was your weakest moment. You looked for your keys

and phone in a half hearted way for about  six seconds.

But you couldn't think where your shoes were and that was enough for you to change your mind.

More tea , more emails, more texts,more guitar ,

more singing, more washing up and  cooking,

more talking on the phone and reading .

and that computer!And now what is

that you are doing? scribbling away furiously

as if you have only a few minutes

to write your dying words.I am done with you.

You disappointed me.

But I'll be back tomorrow.'

__________________________________________________________________________

I am absolutely going to have to go outside tomorrow , who knew life wanted to write me such a guilt inducing note ?