Man#1: Oh, I see that you have a mustache!
Man#2: Why yes, I do!
Man#1: It's so wonderfully taken care of!
Man#2: Why thank you, good sir!
Man#1: I wish that I could have a mustache!
Man#2: But you can!
Man#1: I can?
Man#2: And you shall!
Man#1: How so?
Man#2: All you have to do is find a unicorn with a fully grown beard and a tattoo of a banana on it's sternum.
Man#1: I'm sorry?
Man#2: Then, once you've found said unicorn, you must read to it a poem by William Shakespeare while jumping around like a chimpanzee. If done correctly, the unicorn will sit down and ask you to join it for tea.
Man#1: I'm sorry, but what does this have to do with getting a mustache?
Man#2: Once asked, you respond by saying, "Oh, sorry, I have a plane to catch later this afternoon." To which the unicorn will reply, "That's okay. We can have some brownies instead!" The unicorn will then fly off to get brownies. In the meantime, you will run off to the store to buy some milk.
Man#1: What for?
Man#2: Because the unicorn is providing the brownies! It would be rude if you didn't bring something back in return! Anyway, when the unicorn returns with the brownies, and you with the milk, the unicorn will ask you to take the first brownie. You will pour yourself a glass of milk and say, "No thanks, you have the first one."
Man#1: Where will I get the glass from?
Man#2: From the store of course! Anyway, the unicorn will be so pleased to hear you say that, that it will puke up rainbows all over you!
Man#1: That sounds disgusting!
Man#2: After that, the two of you will eat the brownies and drink the milk. When all is said and done, you will say goodbye, and you will go home. Be sure not to wash off the rainbows. When you wake up the next morning, you will have a beautiful mustache!
Man#1: Wow. That sounds a bit difficult, wouldn't you say?
Man#2: Nonsense! I did it several weeks ago, and just look at this beautiful mustache!
Man#1: Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to try. But where will I ever find a unicorn with a fully grown beard and a tattoo of a banana on it's sternum?
Man#2: Simple! Just follow the sounds of laughter, joy, and puking rainbows!
Man#1: What does the sound of puking rainbows sound like?
Man#2: You'll know.
Man#1: Well, I guess I'll give it a shot.
(One Day Later, in the bathroom of Man#1)
Man#1 (with a mustache): IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!!!
(This is probably my grossest RECord yet. All of this I made up off the top of my head. Hope you liked it!)