Released about 2 years ago

	A short script about two men in a boat looking for the "perfect ripple ". 1st draft. ************************ FADE IN: 1. EXT. OCEAN - DAY 1. A small boat in a still ocean. BOB, 32 is asleep, scrunched up awkwardly in a foetal position and BAILEY, 38 is staring out into the ocean vacantly. BAILEY (to himself, loudly) Aha! I see a ripple! BOB awakes with a startle. BOB What?! BAILEY A rather peculiar ripple i see. BOB Elaborate. BAILEY Bigger than all the ripples we have seen today. Follow my eyes and you will see its aftermath BOB Stay still. Let me stand behind you. BAILEY I’d rather you not. BOB And why not? BAILEY You will tip the boat. BOB Ok. BAILEY Do you trust my perception at this time? BOB Only 50%. BAILEY Explain this please. BOB Well…when we were on land, with food in our bellies and some terra under our feet, i would trust your perceptions 100%. But now, since we are at sea and ever so quite delirious, my trust of your perceptions has been reduced somewhat. BAILEY By half? BOB Yes, i would say so. BAILEY Should i be offended? BOB Not at all. BAILEY Well, i feel offended BOB hmm. BAILEY Yes. A long pause as BAILEY and BOB gaze miserably out into the ocean. BOB Can you still see the ripple? BAILEY (using his two hands as binoculars) Uh, i cannot see the ripple! BOB Not even a slight one? BAILEY Not even a bubble! BOB Oh dear. Can you not adjust the lens? BAILEY (looking at his hands) No. BOB Can i go back to sleep now? BAILEY It’ll be your turn on ripple watch soon enough, so don’t get too comfortable. BOB Comfortable certainly is not the word i would use to describe any mini second of our current existence. BAILEY I concur. And i am close to tears. BOB Be strong my friend, remember the story of Moby Dick? BAILEY No. BOB Damn it, nor do i know much of this story, but what i do remember is that there was a giant sea monster. BAILEY I am scared. BOB Of the sea monster? BAILEY Yes. BOB It does not exist but on a page. BAILEY But what if that ripple i saw was the aftermath of an underwater breath from a giant sea creature? BOB You mean, from a gill? BAILEY Oh yes. BOB It’s possible. It could be a sea bass. BAILEY Let’s hope so. BOB What else could it be? (long pause) BAILEY A tear from God? BOB Hmmm. BAILEY No, that is a silly notion. BOB Implausible, but poetic. BAILEY The ripple is either a result from below or above. BOB Yes, more than likely from below though. BAILEY I concur. BOB How did we get here? BAILEY Well, i don’t know. BOB And we have no oars either. BAILEY Do we have any food or drink? BOB Well, we have plenty of drink (gesturing to the sea) BAILEY Are we not delirious enough? We cannot drink the sea. BOB I am not a big fan of salt. BAILEY It is good with certain fish. BOB Hmm BAILEY I cannot swim. BOB I can a little. With the help of a buoy. BAILEY We have no boys around here. Why a boy? BOB They are strong enough to keep a human afloat. BAILEY I do not understand, you are a man, you are heavier than any boy. BOB But a man does not float like a buoy does. BAILEY And what about a girl? BOB Oh dear. BAILEY What? BOB Never mind. BAILEY gets a pebble from his coat pocket and throws it into the sea, creating a ripple. BOB What are you doing? BAILEY Throwing a pebble into the ocean. BOB I can see that. But we are not here to create ripples, we are here to discover ripples not made by us. BAILEY Yes I know. But can I ask you a question? BOB Yes. BAILEY What do they mean when they say we have to search for the perfect ripple? What is a perfect ripple? BOB It’s a good question. I guess we’ll know when we see it (a long pause). BAILEY Roger was a raindrop who was afraid of crowds. He kept his head in the clouds. And avoided puddles. BOB What was that? BAILEY That was a tiny story. BOB Very good. BAILEY Do you have one? BOB Hmm… well… let me think and I’ll get back to you on that one. BAILEY Ok. 2. EXT. OCEAN - NIGHT 2. The ocean remains abnormally still. BAILEY is half-asleep curled up on the boat and BOB is laying down staring up at the stars. BOB Hey Bailey, wake up. BOB nudges BAILEY. BAILEY Wah?! BOB Listen to this. There was one Umbrella who didn't like the rain, because it made him cry. So he swam to Spain, and became a parasol. What do you think? BAILEY Sounds like the logical thing to do for a rain-phobic Umbrella. BOB Yes. Here‘s something worth thinking about: we’re in pitch darkness and we can’t see a thing, if the perfect ripple has made it’s appearance in this pitch darkness, we’ll never know. BAILEY That is something worth thinking about. How about this? Does it ever rain here? BOB Fuck, if it did that would screw up our search for the perfect ripple and create too many ripples for us to keep an eye on. 3. EXT. OCEAN - MORNING 3. BOB sits looking at the ocean, bored. BAILEY is reading a book called ‘Ripples’. BAILEY Apparently the biggest ripple ever discovered was in the Caspian Sea, some say it was caused by thought. Not the perfect ripple however. BOB Hang on - if we see the perfect ripple and we take a photograph of that ripple mid-ripple, after it’s ceased to be perfect, then how will anyone know we’ve seen the perfect ripple? BAILEY The supreme good is like water, which benefits all of creation, without trying to compete with it. It gathers in unpopular places. BOB Yes, this is a rather unpopular place. Doesn’t seem like anything but us and water exists here. BAILEY Yes. BOB notices something odd with the water. It starts to change slowly red. BOB What the? BAILEY You ok chap? BOB The ocean has gone red!!!! BAILEY You sure? BOB It’s red!!!! BAILEY But it’s royal blue. BOB The ocean is bleeding!!! BAILEY Bob? BOB’s eyes are popping out of his head in amazement. BAILEY Bob? Are you listening? BOB remains silent. BOB Ok - close your eyes and take a deep breath. Imagine you are a happy whale in the sea. All is well, the ocean is calm and royal blue. Meditate on that for me. BOB closes his eyes. BAILEY Good. When you feel ready, open them again. BOB Ok. BOB opens his eyes. BOB Royal blue. BAILEY Always was my dear. BOB Sorry about that. BAILEY That is perfectly alright. 4. EXT. OCEAN - DAY (LATER ON) 4. BOB is staring at the ocean in such a way that his face is nearly in the ocean itself. He then hears a splash and dashes around. BOB Oh my. BAILEY is in the ocean. BAILEY Help! BOB What the devil? BOB uses his hands to paddle the boat closer to the flailing BAILEY. BOB Grab my hand. BAILEY manages to grab his hand. BOB pulls him out of the water and onto the boat. BOB What in the devil happened? BAILEY Something pulled me in. BOB What was it? BAILEY I don’t know, but I get the feeling there is something out there that doesn’t want us to find the perfect ripple. BOB By hook or by crook, we will. BAILEY There is prejudice here I swear. Prejudice breathing out of the water. BOB What did it feel like? Animal? BAILEY No. it was a tug of oomph. BOB A what have you? BAILEY A tug of oomph. BOB An oomph? Well then… BAILEY Watch out for the tugs ok Bob? We’re in rickety territory now. BOB gazes out worrisomely into the ocean. 5. EXT. OCEAN - EARLY EVENING 5. BOB The foolishness of our search is now beyond question. Here we are, devoid of much light, with the stillness of the ocean before us. So still, in fact, that never have I been forced to pay attention to the clamour of my own thoughts like this before. Bailey, are your thoughts not driving you mad like they are to me? BAILEY I must admit dear sir, that my greatest struggle on these shores is the din of my ego. A great man once said to me when I was a child, and I’ve never forgotten it, yet I have never truly understood it till now. He said, five colours blind the eye. Five notes deafen the ear. Five flavours make the palate go stale. Too much activity deranges the mind. Too much wealth causes crime. The Master acts on what she feels and not what she sees. She shuns the latter, and prefers to seek the former. (a long pause) 6. EXT. OCEAN - EVENING 6. The boat is empty. Two ripples form near each other. FADE OUT: