The Ripple
A tragicomedy .
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Act One
A small boat in a still ocean.
GRENFELL is asleep, scrunched up awkwardly in a foetal position and BURTON is staring out into the ocean vacantly.
BURTON (to himself, loudly) aha! I see a ripple.
GRENFELL awakes with a startle.
GRENFELL: what?!
BURTON: a rather peculiar ripple i see.
GRENFELL: elaborate.
BURTON: bigger than all the ripples we have seen today. Follow my eyes and you will see its aftermath.
GRENFELL: stay still. Let me stand behind you.
BURTON: I’d rather you not.
GRENFELL: and why not?
BURTON: You will tip the boat.
GRENFELL: ok.
BURTON: do you trust my perception at this time?
GRENFELL: only 50%
BURTON: explain this please.
GRENFELL: well, when we were on land, with food in our bellies and some terra under our feet, i would trust your perceptions 100%. But now, since we are at sea and ever so quite delirious, my trust of your perceptions has been reduced somewhat.
BURTON: by half?
GRENFELL: yes, i would say so.
BURTON: should i be offended?
GRENFELL: not at all.
BURTON: well, i feel offended.
GRENFELL: hmm.
BURTON: yes.
A long pause as BURTON and GRENFELL gaze miserably out into the ocean.
GRENFELL: can you still see the ripple?
BURTON (using his two hands as binoculars) uh, i cannot see the ripple!
GRENFELL: not even a slight one?
BURTON: not even a bubble!
GRENFELL: oh dear. Can you not adjust the lens?
BURTON (looking at his hands) no.
GRENFELL: Can i go back to sleep now?
BURTON: it’ll be your turn on ripple watch soon enough, so don’t get too comfortable.
GRENFELL: comfortable certainly is not the word i would use to describe any mini second of our current existence.
BURTON: i concur. And i am close to tears.
GRENFELL: be strong my friend, remember the story of Moby Dick?
BURTON: no.
GRENFELL: damn it, nor do i know much of this story, but what i do remember is that there was a giant sea monster.
BURTON: I am scared.
GRENFELL: of the sea monster?
BURTON: yes.
GRENFELL: it does not exist but on a page.
BURTON: but what if that ripple i saw was the aftermath of an underwater breath from a giant sea creature?
GRENFELL: you mean, from a gill?
BURTON: oh yes.
GRENFELL: It’s possible. It could be a sea bass.
BURTON: let’s hope so.
GRENFELL: what else could it be?
Long pause.
BURTON: a tear from God?
GRENFELL: hmmm
BURTON: no, that is a silly notion.
GRENFELL: implausible, but poetic.
BURTON: the ripple is either a result from below or above.
GRENFELL: yes, more than likely from below though.
BURTON: i concur.
GRENFELL: how did we get here?
BURTON: well, i don’t know.
GRENFELL: and we have no oars either.
BURTON: do we have any food or drink?
GRENFELL: well, we have plenty of drink (gesturing to the sea)
BURTON: are we not delirious enough? We cannot drink the sea.
GRENFELL: i am not a big fan of salt.
BURTON: it is good with certain fish.
GRENFELL: hmm
BURTON: i cannot swim.
GRENFELL: i can a little. With the help of a buoy.
BURTON: we have no boys around here. Why a boy?
GRENFELL: they are strong enough to keep a human afloat.
BURTON: i do not understand, you are a man, you are heavier than any boy.
GRENFELL: but a man does not float like a buoy does.
BURTON: and what about a girl?
GRENFELL: oh dear.
BURTON: what?
GRENFELL: never mind.
BURTON gets a pebble from his coat pocket and throws it into the sea, creating a ripple.
CURTAIN
***************************
Act One
A small boat in a still ocean.
GRENFELL is asleep, scrunched up awkwardly in a foetal position and BURTON is staring out into the ocean vacantly.
BURTON (to himself, loudly) aha! I see a ripple.
GRENFELL awakes with a startle.
GRENFELL: what?!
BURTON: a rather peculiar ripple i see.
GRENFELL: elaborate.
BURTON: bigger than all the ripples we have seen today. Follow my eyes and you will see its aftermath.
GRENFELL: stay still. Let me stand behind you.
BURTON: I’d rather you not.
GRENFELL: and why not?
BURTON: You will tip the boat.
GRENFELL: ok.
BURTON: do you trust my perception at this time?
GRENFELL: only 50%
BURTON: explain this please.
GRENFELL: well, when we were on land, with food in our bellies and some terra under our feet, i would trust your perceptions 100%. But now, since we are at sea and ever so quite delirious, my trust of your perceptions has been reduced somewhat.
BURTON: by half?
GRENFELL: yes, i would say so.
BURTON: should i be offended?
GRENFELL: not at all.
BURTON: well, i feel offended.
GRENFELL: hmm.
BURTON: yes.
A long pause as BURTON and GRENFELL gaze miserably out into the ocean.
GRENFELL: can you still see the ripple?
BURTON (using his two hands as binoculars) uh, i cannot see the ripple!
GRENFELL: not even a slight one?
BURTON: not even a bubble!
GRENFELL: oh dear. Can you not adjust the lens?
BURTON (looking at his hands) no.
GRENFELL: Can i go back to sleep now?
BURTON: it’ll be your turn on ripple watch soon enough, so don’t get too comfortable.
GRENFELL: comfortable certainly is not the word i would use to describe any mini second of our current existence.
BURTON: i concur. And i am close to tears.
GRENFELL: be strong my friend, remember the story of Moby Dick?
BURTON: no.
GRENFELL: damn it, nor do i know much of this story, but what i do remember is that there was a giant sea monster.
BURTON: I am scared.
GRENFELL: of the sea monster?
BURTON: yes.
GRENFELL: it does not exist but on a page.
BURTON: but what if that ripple i saw was the aftermath of an underwater breath from a giant sea creature?
GRENFELL: you mean, from a gill?
BURTON: oh yes.
GRENFELL: It’s possible. It could be a sea bass.
BURTON: let’s hope so.
GRENFELL: what else could it be?
Long pause.
BURTON: a tear from God?
GRENFELL: hmmm
BURTON: no, that is a silly notion.
GRENFELL: implausible, but poetic.
BURTON: the ripple is either a result from below or above.
GRENFELL: yes, more than likely from below though.
BURTON: i concur.
GRENFELL: how did we get here?
BURTON: well, i don’t know.
GRENFELL: and we have no oars either.
BURTON: do we have any food or drink?
GRENFELL: well, we have plenty of drink (gesturing to the sea)
BURTON: are we not delirious enough? We cannot drink the sea.
GRENFELL: i am not a big fan of salt.
BURTON: it is good with certain fish.
GRENFELL: hmm
BURTON: i cannot swim.
GRENFELL: i can a little. With the help of a buoy.
BURTON: we have no boys around here. Why a boy?
GRENFELL: they are strong enough to keep a human afloat.
BURTON: i do not understand, you are a man, you are heavier than any boy.
GRENFELL: but a man does not float like a buoy does.
BURTON: and what about a girl?
GRENFELL: oh dear.
BURTON: what?
GRENFELL: never mind.
BURTON gets a pebble from his coat pocket and throws it into the sea, creating a ripple.
CURTAIN
