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“Start whenever you’re ready.”

“Um, I just have some questions about the character first.”

“Of course. You’ll want to fully understand what is motivating the character in this scene before you start.”

“Well, it says here the character just lost the love of his life.”

“Correct.”

“But it also says he was in love with a blade of grass?”

“That’s right.”

“And he accidentally mowed it?”

“Yes! Do you think you can possibly understand how the character feels? Can you show me the pain, the guilt, the self loathing of having killed your one true love?”

“But it’s a blade of grass.”

“But he LOVED it. It was HIS blade of grass. He shared his life with it, his dreams, and then he ultimately destroyed it!”

“Can’t he just choose another blade of grass?”

“You can’t just replace the love of your life so easily. The audience won’t buy that!”

“But they’ll buy that he’s heartbroken over a piece of grass?”

“With the right actor performing it they will! Now can you show me how you would handle this scene?”

“Er, okay. Let me try a few lines.”

“Okay. One, two, three…action!”

Oh my love, my love, what have I done?”

“More emotion!”

“ I cannot go on without your herbaceousness lighting up my lawn.”

More feeling!”

 “I cannot bear never again seeing your emerald green on a rainy day, or your golden yellow on a dry summer’s day…

“More intensity!”

MY HEART BREAKS INTO A THOUSAND PIECES EVERY TIME I PASS THE WEED-BE-GONE!"

“Hold it! Hold it! I’m sorry, I’m not quite believing you. I’m not feeling your pain.”

“Believe me, this IS painful.”

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