"So what, do you pay rent? or are you like just camping out on the couch?"

"I clean the house and i pay what i can. Dealing isn't at all like how the movies make it. I thought that by week three i would be living by a beach... drinking myself into an early grave... banging supermodels..."

"You are selling pot, dude, you arent this fucking kingpin astropharmacist slinging Heroin and shooting coke theives.  you're just a dude. On a couch. with some decent mids."

"But it's a really comfortable couch.  And you are smoking those decent mids for free.  on my couch."

"Sorry dude, i just think..."

"Don't appologize to me, the couch is more hurt than i am."

"Dude, fuck your couch."