“I’m thinking about taking up smoking.”


“You? Why?”


“Because I can never figure out what to do with my hands.”


“You had an asthma attack on the 7th day of Hanukkah.”


“Wax fumes.”


“On the 5th night, too, I think.”


“Dust from the menorah.”


“The 4th of July….”


“Sparklers.  These are cigarettes, entirely different.”


“You’re too concerned with your hands.”


“I have wandering hand syndrome.”


“Which is not a real thing.”


“If legs can be restless, my hands can wander.”


“I don’t think it works that way…”


“I slapped someone yesterday, a complete stranger, unintentionally.”


“And smoking will fix this?”


“Joe Camel never slapped anyone.”


“He was a camel as fictional as your diagnoses.”


“I might take up the harmonica instead.”


“You loiter too much.”

Brennansweaterphant
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