[This is a screenplay for a short-film based off of Metaphorest's text "A Modest Proposal (Jelly Baby Version)". I imagine the film to be half stop motion, half animation, and half live action with Day Glo's narration progressing the story.]

INT. EXPENSIVE LOOKING ROOM WITH FIREPLACE - NIGHT

The Narrator sits in an expensive looking chair beside the fire place with a glass of what is most likely brandy. Or something else snobby like that. He is wearing an expensive looking robe to match his equally as expensive fire place. Lights are very dim.

NARRATOR: For Preventing the Children of Jellyfolk in Jellyland from being a Burden to their Parents or Country, and for Making them Beneficial to the Public.

EXT. SANDY BEACH - DAY

A ship pulls up onto the sandy beach of an unexplored country. A family of Jelly Babies HOLD one another for comfort. Another type of candy (maybe a Sour Patch Kid if you can find those in England) HOPS off of the ship. He has a Christopher Columbus hat on.

NARRATOR (V.O.): Twas four score years ago or more that we pioneering patriots first landed on the slippery shores of Jellyland.

Christopher Columbus Sour Patch Kid starts to move towards the Jelly Baby family but SLIPS and FALLS.

NARRATOR (V.O.): Our colonization of these gelatinous peoples was not without its trials, but, ultimately, our bold endeavour was considered a great success!

The Jelly Baby mother HELPS UP the Christopher Columbus Sour Patch Kid. The mother and her children are then put into chains. These chains could be rubber bands or liquorice.

EXT. WOODS - NIGHT

Jelly Babies are being MARCHED along paths in chains while parts of the forests burn down. A single Jelly Baby that is trying to escape is WHIPPED with a liquorice whip (unrolled liquorice wheel). The feeling of the music should contradict what's being shown on screen. Something victorious and jolly.

NARRATOR (V.O.): The Jellyfolk were liberated from their archaic practices, freed from the tyranny of free will and assimilated into civilized society with only the merest mutterings of jellycide.

EXT. STREET - DAY

A Jelly Baby family stands inside of a dark and snowy alley, all SHIVERING. The snow on the ground could be something like coconut shavings (the type they put on Snowballs. I love those things). Meanwhile, a rich, self-made Sour Patch Kid walks down the street. He has a top hat and a cane. Before he reaches the alley he SLIPS and FALLS. The cane's probably a toothpick.

The mother Jelly Baby emerges from the alley to HELP UP the Kid. She then begins to BEG this wealthy Sour Patch Kid for money. The Kid tells her that he has no money, but the mother perseveres. Eventually, the Kid resorts to THWACKING the Baby with his toothpick-cane.

NARRATOR (V.O.): However, recent times have delivered great hardship to our near, dear neighbours. Many a time have I slid along the slippery streets of Jellyland and seen female jellies, begging for alms, with a litter of little jelly babies huddled around them, near translucent with hunger. This juvenile jelly generation faces a bleak future, while their mothers must demean themselves to the level of beggars just to feed the growing jelly tots.  It is a travesty and one that must end!

INT. EXPENSIVE LOOKING ROOM WITH FIREPLACE - NIGHT

The narrator puts down his glass of brandy and folds his hands.

NARRATOR: Forthwith, I have a proposal. And luckily, with a little paternal pragmatism, these poor paupers can be lifted out of their impoverishment and into the thriving throngs of the working class! I have been told that a young jelly baby is at its tenderest around the age of one, just before it matures into a jelly tot. So, this is when I suggest we harvest the tasty treats!

EXT. STREET - DAY - ANIMATION START

This animation could be either crudely or beautifully animated. Either way, a little girl is walking down the street. The girl is sweet and innocent and looks like she couldn't hurt a fly. She stumbles upon the Jelly Baby family that we keep seeing and picks one of them up. They struggle to hold on to their Jelly Baby mother but the little girl eventually succeeds and LIFTS the sweet into the air. Now the little girl is viscious and cruel and DEVOURS it maniacally.

NARRATOR (V.O.): The juicy morsels will provide much needed nourishment for their kin and no longer burden their beleaguered mothers - a most simple solution to a most dire problem. My calculations suggest that if we were even to reassign half the jelly babies for nutritional purposes, then the problem of this fruity famine would be solved!

INT. SUPERMARKET - DAY

Packs of Jelly Babies line the shelves. They bang against the plastic bag in a futile attempt to escape.

NARRATOR (V.O.): This new foodstuff will not only be freely available but profoundly flexible-

INT. HOUSE - DAY

A mother is sprinkling a trifle with Jelly Babies

NARRATOR (V.O.): Put it in a trifle,

EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS

A little girl sprinkles Jelly Babies over her vanilla cone.

NARRATOR (V.O.): Have it with ice cream,

EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS

A Jelly Baby has its head BITTEN off by a girl. This should be as gorey and tragic as possible.

NARRATOR (V.O.): Or simply tuck straight in to a chewy head or limb.

INT. JELLY BABY HOUSE - NIGHT

A Jelly Baby family holds each other, TREMBLING with fear. Three or four Sour Patch Kid soldiers BUST the door down and start to DRAG away the children by the feet, their HANDS DUG into the floor.

NARRATOR (V.O.): The poor, hopeless jelly tots will be released from the futility of their futures, their mothers fed, and the sweet-teeth of the wobbly wealthy satiated affordably and efficiently!

INT. EXPENSIVE LOOKING ROOM WITH FIREPLACE - NIGHT

The narrator is still sat in his expensive chair, a smile on his face.

NARRATOR: I hope that you will take seriously my suggestion which, I pledge, is not made in the hope of any benefit to myself personally, but with the wellbeing of our wibbly-wobbly brothers and sisters at its heart.

The narrator takes out a pack of Jelly Babies and starts eating them. He savors them in all of their delicious glory.

END