A Fake History of The Alamo

Lieutenant Jonathan Partridge came from a long line of distinguished military leaders.

His great grandfather General Thadeus Partridge had led American Colonists against the French during the King William's War, while his father, Colonel William H. Partridge, got one of the final confirmed kills of the American Revolution.

Stationed at the Alamo in San Antonio, Texas in February of 1836, Captain Jonathan Partridge commanded a fatigued platoon of die hard Southern boys. Soon word reached the Alamo that 1,500 Mexicans were en route to the fort to begin their campaign to overtake Texas.

Sensing inevitable death, Partridge said "Fuck this" and took off on foot into the barren wastelands surrounding the doomed fort.

After 7 hours of being AWOL Partirdge was scalped by a tribe of cannibalistic Indians.

The End.