The show's intermission begins, the lights go on. WOMAN sits alone in crowded theatre.

A MAN rushes into the theatre and sits next to her, leaning towards her.

MAN

Shit, sorry I'm so late. You wouldn't believe the traffic out there. It's insane. I left three hours ago! A mile away, the taxi wasn't even moving for fifteen minutes so I was like, "fuck it," and got out and walked. I got stopped by three different people for directions. What is this, New York? And then I--

WOMAN

(interrupts him) Do I know you?

MAN

(flustered) What?

WOMAN

Why are you talking to me? I have no idea who you are.

MAN

Seriously? So you're not my blind date then?

WOMAN

No.

MAN

But-- (checks seat number) this is my seat, she's supposed to be sitting next to me!

WOMAN

Maybe on the other side?

MAN

Oh, right. (turns head, looks, grimaces, immediately looks back)

WOMAN

What's that face for?

MAN

(shakes head, whispers) Date's a little too blind for me.

WOMAN

(looks at his other side, whispers back) Jesus… she's old.

MAN

Yeah.

WOMAN

She's REALLY old.

MAN

I think she has dentures.

WOMAN

And a walking stick.

MAN

Fuck.

WOMAN

Who set you up on this blind date?

MAN

My ex-wife.

WOMAN

Well that explains it.

MAN

Pardon?

WOMAN

Surely you didn't think your ex would set you up on a good blind date.

MAN

She would! She's a nice girl, really cares about me.

WOMAN

Why'd you guys separate?

MAN

She cheated on me with my best friend.

WOMAN

Ouch… "Nice girl," huh?

MAN

Damn it. How embarrassing...

WOMAN

(pats shoulder reassuringly) There, there.

MAN

So, you here with anyone?

WOMAN

Nope. I'm enjoying the single life.

MAN

Really?

WOMAN

No. Fuck this, it sucks.

MAN

I know, right?

WOMAN

It's like all the cute guys are taken.

MAN

Well…

WOMAN

Oh, for fuck's sake.

MAN

I'm just sayin'.

WOMAN

I just met you.

MAN

Think of it as a blind date.

WOMAN

Really blind…

MAN

(nods towards his other side) But not that blind.

WOMAN

True…

MAN

So, what do you say?

WOMAN

I have cancer.

MAN

(completely thrown off) What? Wow, I'm sorry--

WOMAN

I don't actually, I'm not sure why I said that.

MAN

Afraid of relationships?

WOMAN

You could say that.

MAN

(holds up his ring finger) Me too…

WOMAN

Oh, right.

The lights begin to dim again.

MAN

Wanna get coffee after this?

WOMAN

It's too late for coffee.

MAN

Grab a beer?

WOMAN

I hate beer.

MAN

Uhh… tea?

WOMAN

(gives him a look) The show's starting.

MAN

Come back to my place?

WOMAN

Fine... one of the above.

MAN

Great. (begins to put arm around the back of her chair)

WOMAN

Don't even think about it.

Show starts.

--

first time i've ever written a script. there are LOTS of better ones out there, but i just thought i'd give it a shot. :)