(GUY and GIRL are sitting next to each other at the Fall Formal. They both are clearly alone. It should be clear that they are interested in each other, but both are far too self-conscious to do anything about it. Instead of sneaking glances flirtatiously, they spend more time fidgeting - she picks at a run in her tights, he blows his nose too loudly, et cetera.)
GUY: So, um... you here alone?
GIRL: Yeah. You?
GUY: Yup. That’s me. Goin’ stag. (Long pause) A lone wolf on the prowl. (Another pause. GIRL smiles at him a little awkwardly.) Ridin’ it solo all night long. (Silence. GUY realizes he has made it sound like he’s masturbating.) I mean, not riding it. I’m not really riding anything. I mean - I mean I could ride something. I’ve been - there have been offers of, of riding. If I wanted to. But I’m not. (A beat.) I should stop talking now, shouldn’t I?
GIRL: That would probably be a good idea.
(Another long, awkward pause, only this time they’re looking everywhere except each other.)
GUY: So it’s pretty clear why I’m here alone.
GIRL: Pretty clear, yeah.
GUY: What about you?
GIRL: Oh, well, according to my ex-boyfriend, the rodeo clown -
GUY: (interrupting) Wait, is that a figure of speech, or...
GIRL: No, I really dated a rodeo clown. And he broke up with me.
GIRL: Well, according to him, I’m emotionally unavailable. Which I guess was fair, I mean, I’m really focused on my career.
GUY: Oh? What do you do?
GIRL: I’m a taxidermist.
GUY: (Clearly thinking he’s mis-heard) A tax accountant?
GIRL: (Louder) Taxidermy. I stuff dead animals? Like, people’s pets?
GUY: Wait, you’re a...