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Me
by chloe04
Released 2011-09-28 18:35:14 +0800
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In the Form Formal intermission a guy is sitting next to someone he does not know, a pretty girl, they catch each others eyes for a second so he feels like he should make conversation.


Guy: Great show, huh?


Girl: Yeah, I guess.  


She’s not really interested, he feels kind of awkward. There is an awkward silence between them for about 30 seconds.


Girl: Uh, sorry if I’m being weird it’s just that I had a bad breakup with someone and I’m not feeling too hot.


Guy: (Thinking to himself) Shit what have I got myself into…


The girl continues  


Girl: You want to hear the funny thing about it?


Guy: Not particularly


Girl does not hear- continues anyway


Girl: Well, we broke up because he was having an affair with a doll.


Guy: Excuse me?


 Girl: Yeah, I told you it was funny, well do you remember that film “Lars and the Real Girl”?


Guy: (hesitant) Yeah…it’s about a guy who has a doll for a girlfriend…


Girl: Exactly! So maybe it was about a year into our relationship and he started to become more distant, he would come home late and sometimes not come home at all. All the signs of an affair. But it started to get weird…I started losing some of my clothes.


Guy: Ok…


Girl: Yeah, oh…I don’t know why I’m telling you this.


Guy: I don’t know either.


Girl: Well, I’m on a roll now, so I’m going to continue. Yeah, so one day I came home from work early and I opened the door…and…in the kitchen…


Guy cuts in


Guy: Look Lady, I don’t really want to know the kinky shit your ex was doing with a doll. I was just being polite you know, in the intermission…I don’t really need to know your crazy break-up story.


Girl stares blankly at him


Girl: Oh…Sorry…I just needed to tell someone, I couldn’t tell my family or friends, what would they think of me?


Girl trying to hold back the tears and gives an awkward smile. Guy feels terrible for shouting at her.


Guy: Sorry, please continue.


Girl: ..ok…so when I came into the kitchen, there she was. In MY clothes, in MY makeup and SHE LOOKED BETTER THAN ME. My boyfriend was sitting at the table holding her hand. I screamed at him “ WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?”


He said “I can explain”  He said he bought her on a whim from the internet, just for curiosity but then he became emotionally involved.


Guy: How do you become emotionally involved with a doll?


Girl: You tell me…


Guy: I’m sorry to hear that, if you don’t mind me saying, your ex is a bit fucked up.


Girl: Yeah I know…


Both turn around, awkward…a few seconds pass.


Girl: Actually, we didn’t break up because of the affair with the doll…


Guy: What?


Girl: Yeah…after  we talked and he told me that he didn’t do anything, you know physical  with the doll…it was just some weird emotional thing…so we went to counselling etc for a while, but it didn’t work. He was still involved with the doll.


Guy: So, you broke up because he couldn’t let it go?


Girl: No…we broke up because I burned it. Oh look the show’s about to start.


Guy stares blankly at her while she is watching the stage.

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