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Dénouement
fredwatford Released Sep 27, 2011
The lights in the auditorium come up revealing JOE. He is wearing an expensive tuxedo but it is slightly disheveled. Seated to his right is a beautiful woman, also dressed formally. The seat to his left is empty. JOE reaches into his jacket and takes a draw from a flask.



JOE

Want some?


The woman doesn't reply.


More for me!

(drinking)

So...where’d your dad go?


WOMAN

He’s not my Dad!


JOE

Oh...I guess that would explain the kissing.


WOMAN

I guess this would explain why you're alone.


JOE looks over at the empty seat beside him.


JOE

She wasnt feeling too well.


WOMAN

(concerned)

Oh...Well, Im sorry.


JOE

Dont be, shes a whore.


WOMAN

Thats a horrible thing to say!


JOE

Oh yeah, I guess you’re right. Whores get paid.


There is an uncomfortable silence between the two.


So, the old guy?


WOMAN

Hes not that old.... hes nice.


JOE

Nice? Nice? Fuck nice! My grandmother’s nice! How did that guy, that OLD guy, land a girl like you?


WOMAN

What do you mean ‘a girl like me?’


JOE

Oh give it a rest lady you know what I mean. Youre gorgeous he’s.. he’s Gandalf!


The woman looks at him for a moment and then bursts into laughter.The woman takes the flask from JOE and takes a long pull. Coughing.


WOMAN

Oh fuck.


Another drink.

E-Harmony.


JOE

You're kidding?


WOMAN

A friend talked me into it


JOE takes the flasks back from her. Drinks.


JOE

Is that friend ninety and still in the bathroom?


She takes the flask. Drinks.


WOMAN

He’s not ninety, he’s … I dont know, but he’s not ninety.


JOE

So how did you even up trolling for guys online?


WOMAN

I told you, a frien...


JOE

Yeah I know a friend talked you into it. But how did it come to that?


WOMAN

Because I was sick of dating assholes. Youre only talking to me because you want to get in my pants.


JOE

Dress. and No, Im only talking to you because you are sitting beside me. If it had been you who went off to drop a deuce Id be sitting here talking to Mattlock about how he managed to get a girl like you.


WOMAN

Youre so gross.


JOE

So why not me?


WOMAN

Huh?


JOE

Why not a guy like me?


WOMAN

Thats not what you said.


JOE

Yeah fuck it, why not me? What does that guy have that I dont? Aside from an overactive bladder.


WOMAN

Its not what he has, its what you dont?


JOE

Thats what she said.


WOMAN

What? That doesnt even make sense. You're supposed to say ‘thats what she said’ when...


JOE

No. That’s what She said.

JOE nods over to the empty seat.

 

 

WOMAN

Oh.

The music comes up indicating intermission is nearly over. JOE and WOMAN sit unspeaking.

CURTAIN


 

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